Go

Today I worked. I just started and payed a lot of bills.
Tomorrow I'm a day off work. I got something else to do.

This afternoon I phoned my mother to say I wanna come over to discuss some things.
It was an unusual short call and shortly after that call she called back.
She was a bit agitated and wanted to know what it was where I wanted to talk about.
Did she feel a bit hostility from my side? Who knows. But I would let the bygones be bygones. She said that I was strictly business and that she would like to know what it was about. If she knew, she could prepare herself.

I would speak with her about the bad dream of some time ago, the dentist, all about Fennie (she doesn't know that she and I said goodbye 17 years ago) and that I want to get back in touch, my work, the book of Jonathan Franzen (The death of Lalitha felt like a stab in my heart.)
I told her that it's only about my worries.
(Her violent divorce has hurt all her children, but that is bygone.)

This is how I try to get my life on track.

vacation and the man who knew too much

At 13.45 I quit work. Doomed and depressed because of 1 ride to work. I encountered some problems and finally I was almost at work (I hate that building at the moment) when I annoyed someone. I parked my bike near the side entrance when that person saw me apparently.

I walked inside together with a colleague also going in. The person missed the open door. I didn't open it for him. But he showed his pass and opened the door. Then he started being very hostile. He asked if I was a temporary worker and who my boss was. The man and the woman with whom I went in seemed to know each other. In the elevator I told that the 3rd was my department and the team leader wasn't available. So we went to my office and than he started telling with an agitated voice his story to all the colleagues who were in at 8.30 am. I felt no bottom beneath my feet. But that man went to far when he told what he saw from a far distance earlier. He drew his conclusions. And I did too which I told him. What the heck. Some colleagues were disturbed by the action of that man. If this man wants to go to the director than it's fine with me. He simply forgets a few levels and the director will not understand what his problem has to do with her.

What a weak man who wants to go high up in the organization to solve something which happened on the streets.

But my concentration had gone. I asked a colleague if he knew what department the person works. Yes he did. It's not a very social department. The-department-of-no- more-benefits I guess.
When I wanted to leave I talked with another colleague. She told me not to let it ruin my vacation. It's a minor incident, just to be forgotten.

This week the name of one Screbrenica veteran I know was on the news. He was with Dutchbat in Srebrenica in 1995. 8,000 men were murdered there. It is said that he will be personally prosecuted because he knew things. I was puzzled and sent a short text message to his cell phone. He didn't know anything more than I did. Back in Holland he will be informed.

At the hair cutter's the barber told that with this weather (every day hot temps) people are easily agitated. I agreed haven't told the story.
I must say that I've never been at the hair cutter with temp above 34 degrees, but I never felt so comfortable. No agitation at all, just relaxation and a smile on my face. People should know.