Melancholy

Delicious end year feeling. 3 days even entirely nada, nothing. Some rest and preparation on a spring offensive at my work, Works Council related.

Purely for myself, the result orientated talks with my team-leader, the personal develop plan and talks about it, my own development. Today I want to read Quadriga till the end (F. Springer writes persuading concerning love) and start with skin & hair of the in New York living Dutch writer Arnon Grunberg. Perhaps I tear the book apart. Cauz I'm mean

My end year feeling is not melancholic. I have a positive feeling over 2010, not only by the end year rally in my life this year. (The end year rally of my life must still come.)

By the end of November I did not put myself eligible for a 3 years period in the WC. To much to do and in May 2011 the organisational changes start to penetrate. Then there will be a slide with functions and people. Sadness will temporary appear, like dust behind a moved bookcase.

I'm reading like being crazy, beautiful books, with Freedom of J. Franzen as top of the list, in which almost everything for me personally fell at it's place.

Stock, I did better than the AEX with my portfolio.
How much experience do I have? The years will count, I would say that I am experienced.
But the AEX, it says more to nothing. It is a worthless index. Always has been as a matter of fact. Ha ha, Toon Hermans would say.
But who am I to tell I did better than the National Stock Exchange Index.

E., you have had all my attention since the time we have known each-other. Then I asked you to go along over lunchtime to vote and you said no. I feel great! My respect. (But I still hope to become acquinted with you.)
You have got my vote, unfortunately insufficient.
My love for you says nothing to you, but I know that I can love, thanks for that. It is my feeling and nobody can take that. That feeling I will keep as long as I know your name.
Once again thanks and greets.

And 2011?
It will become a fantastic year if you look for authenticity and believe in it.

Happy 2011

Freedom

It's the title of Jonathan Franzen his book about family matters, the hope and despair in families and about impossible ambitions.
I heard Obama read the book too. Is it maybe because of the similarities between the book and his administration?
Freedom is a page turner. Can't wait to see where it leads to.

Today I was thinking how to finish a book I'm writing.
It's about the negligence of the north east of my country by The Hague, that's the nations political heartland.
Two things happened.
-Firstly the PVV (Party of Freedom) wants votes to get into the Senate. They want Limburg for the people who live there. Of course that will increase the power of the cabinet. There could be some problems... the province of Limburg has no own means. The population is decreasing. The mines are closed a long time ago. The automotive Industry moved. The province should concentrate on tourism in my opinion. The PVV focuses their campaign on the rather negative slogan Not for Mosques but for carnival in Limburg.
This is one of the aspects in the book, the derealization of life there once was. It might be about urgency to be flexible with the change of the environment.
- Secondly, I saw a promotion video. It was a political video on national television for a political party in the north east part of the country Some people from that region want their freedom because the State earns money from the natural resources and doesn't give back means to conserve the region and to make it more prosperous. That party focuses on
separation from The Netherlands. It is from their point of view understandable, but it is so immature. How can you fight for something you don´t really believe in? It has no authenticity if it's only about money. The people living in the periphery of The Hague are not only people represented by these parties.
Authenticity has to do with the values you believe in, your patriotism. If you don't want to defend your country you could also life elsewhere. That makes a separation unlikely.

For citizen in Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague and in villages and towns which form the heartland of The Netherlands, these views are examples of the dumbness of the people in the region. They look down on the provincials and they know it. People in the province feel that arrogance.

I thought of a despotic leader like Milosevic who led his people into a war. There only has to be one leader who knows how to persuade people to get their freedom. This could be one line in the book.

I should thank E. for her authenticity. She introduced it with me after talking about the whole Maslow thing and her self realization. Concerned E. I'm on a distance now and I see her vulnerability and her being idolized by a colleague.

I hate that idolizing. It's almost sick how he talks about her. How positive and uplifting he is about E. Concerned work he should do anything for her. Miss this and miss that.
I can make myself mad about that. Actually I did last week. But I'm not as direct as most Dutch are in this part of the country. I was angry about another thing, which made him a little bit furious. He tried to stay calm however. But I rejected what he said.

I better read Freedom