I found the old photo on the internet. This one is made in the 50's.
This photo is made in May 2007 by myself.For me the first picture is like a little present on the brink to 2008
Sunday, December 30, 2007
the past and present, photo's of my birth home.
I found the old photo on the internet. This one is made in the 50's. This photo is made in May 2007 by myself.For me the first picture is like a little present on the brink to 2008
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Any plans for 2008?
For myself I wanna climb the Mont Ventoux by bicycle. The MV rises more than 1900 metres above sea level. May 2008 will be the month. Cycling from home to the top of this mountain in the south of France. That is my goal.
To give you an impression in 8 minutes of the climb of this mountain, watch this video
To give you an impression in 8 minutes of the climb of this mountain, watch this video
Friday, December 28, 2007
The world in music
Benazir Bhutto died in an assault on December 27 2007... no the Addled Writer calls it an assassination
According to Them It's all over now (, baby blue)
Queen immediately rocked about her quality, you're my best friend.
Dave Berry talked about a strange effect
while Dusty Springfield sang I just don't know what to do
It's the first time that a shocking news came to me via the internet.
A shot of adrenaline went through my body.
I was reading the news on Thursday afternoon. An internet paper declared her dead. I turned on BBC-world. Several media stated that she was shot. After that the messages came in. She was shot dead....
Such a political assault hurts. She could mean something for Pakistan. However faith wasn't with her.
This is a tragedy for her and her family but also for the Pakistani people.
The Dutch know that they can make a nuclear bomb and that the Pakistani are excellent hockey players. But they are so much more than that.
Extremists have assaulted the democratic process just before the elections.
Pakistan could be an example for the region and a bridge from India to the middle east and Europe.
Carry on, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
cause Ordinary people, John Legend
Just can´t get enough, depeche mode
of Peaceful easy feelin' Eagles
According to Them It's all over now (, baby blue)
Queen immediately rocked about her quality, you're my best friend.
Dave Berry talked about a strange effect
while Dusty Springfield sang I just don't know what to do
It's the first time that a shocking news came to me via the internet.
A shot of adrenaline went through my body.
I was reading the news on Thursday afternoon. An internet paper declared her dead. I turned on BBC-world. Several media stated that she was shot. After that the messages came in. She was shot dead....
Such a political assault hurts. She could mean something for Pakistan. However faith wasn't with her.
This is a tragedy for her and her family but also for the Pakistani people.
The Dutch know that they can make a nuclear bomb and that the Pakistani are excellent hockey players. But they are so much more than that.
Extremists have assaulted the democratic process just before the elections.
Pakistan could be an example for the region and a bridge from India to the middle east and Europe.
Carry on, Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
cause Ordinary people, John Legend
Just can´t get enough, depeche mode
of Peaceful easy feelin' Eagles
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Saturday, December 15, 2007
the liquidation
Friday November 23 was the end of a week everything came together. A last farewell to my father to meeting my sister after a few years.. If we are on speaking terms I don't know. 2 Weeks later, December 7, my sister, brother and I had an appointment with the notary to find out if there is a last will.
Well, there is. A rather shocking experience I realized last week.
The man who is my natural father, who nurtured me to some level and who owes his children some explanation leaves to some extend his possessions to the lady he lived with and when she's passed away to her children.
My father just denied our existence.
It is not so that I expected a heritage, but this total denial is so mean.
Last week was just another working week with a lot going on at work but it is of minor importance. For example our working schedule. Some people make long days to save it for holidays. That behavior isn't correct. Our team leader changed that and other things causing panic with some of the employees. Nothing changed really, only that 1 or more people can't create a vast amount of surplus hours anymore.
Well, there is. A rather shocking experience I realized last week.
The man who is my natural father, who nurtured me to some level and who owes his children some explanation leaves to some extend his possessions to the lady he lived with and when she's passed away to her children.
My father just denied our existence.
It is not so that I expected a heritage, but this total denial is so mean.
Last week was just another working week with a lot going on at work but it is of minor importance. For example our working schedule. Some people make long days to save it for holidays. That behavior isn't correct. Our team leader changed that and other things causing panic with some of the employees. Nothing changed really, only that 1 or more people can't create a vast amount of surplus hours anymore.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
the funeral
4 Days ago, it was Thursday, I called my sister. I asked her what she was planning for the Friday because the funeral would be on that day.
She didn't really know wether she would go. She's had her reasons not to go, as I've had.
I wrote some thoughts down and it crossed my mind that however I have done my utmost being there when he's dying I had to show that I'm stronger then he was. My sister came to the same conclusion Friday morning. So together we drove to the small village where he would be cremated
So I went to his funeral. Well, it was a last farewell. We asked to see him in private before the ceremony. The next 5 to 10 minutes were painfull. I came to the conclusion that he's dead when I saw him in his coffin. He didn't look very good, that was very painfull but when I saw a picture of him in his so called life I don't know anything about. I thought "okay he wanted that. He's much older from the days I knew him, but yes that's my dad". He realized a dream, but was it worth it? He finally lost more. He lost his family.
When I realized his death I had to cry, I couldn't control these sudden emotions. It was from the inside and because of him. I felt sorry for him, 62 years old; the last 24 years with heartproblems.
She didn't really know wether she would go. She's had her reasons not to go, as I've had.
I wrote some thoughts down and it crossed my mind that however I have done my utmost being there when he's dying I had to show that I'm stronger then he was. My sister came to the same conclusion Friday morning. So together we drove to the small village where he would be cremated
So I went to his funeral. Well, it was a last farewell. We asked to see him in private before the ceremony. The next 5 to 10 minutes were painfull. I came to the conclusion that he's dead when I saw him in his coffin. He didn't look very good, that was very painfull but when I saw a picture of him in his so called life I don't know anything about. I thought "okay he wanted that. He's much older from the days I knew him, but yes that's my dad". He realized a dream, but was it worth it? He finally lost more. He lost his family.
When I realized his death I had to cry, I couldn't control these sudden emotions. It was from the inside and because of him. I felt sorry for him, 62 years old; the last 24 years with heartproblems.
Monday, November 19, 2007
The end.
What a weekend.... My dad died 27 hours ago after being in a coma for 4 days.
Nothing happened really... I said goodbye just before the weekend. However Sunday at 2 pm my sister called to say that if I wanted to see him for the last time I had to come quickly.
Unfortunately I just came home after 2 hours training. After a shower, I packed my case and took the next train north, to G. It was delayed.
Was it one of the black cats I saw cycling hours before?
At 16.53 I called my sister. I don't know why I just had a feeling something was wrong. Maybe a song of Shakira on my mp3 made me feel so?
As I called her, my sister said it's better to tell you right now,our dad died.
I was sitting in a crowded train when she told it. I was emotional but could control it on the English way, a stiff upper lip. I couldn't pronounce words of 2 syllables or more. I felt defeated.
However when I arrived in G. I walked and ran to the hospital. Ouch, in the weekend they close the entrance I considered being opened. I had to take the main entrance.
Finally I made it to my dad. It took me 2.5 hours. 45 Minutes to late.
He was already in a spare room where my sister and I talked about his qualities, his bad and good habits, his shortcomings. Sometimes he gave an eye-wink I imagined and he smiled all the time. Yes, he laid on the bed peacefully like a pirate with great grey whiskers and white long hair combed to the back of his scull. Seemingly thanking for pardoning his mistakes and ending his suffering. Is this the end of 20 years or more trying to be out of sight? Sure is that at the end of the week he'll submerge for good.
I loved you dad and I wish you showed more to us.
Nothing happened really... I said goodbye just before the weekend. However Sunday at 2 pm my sister called to say that if I wanted to see him for the last time I had to come quickly.
Unfortunately I just came home after 2 hours training. After a shower, I packed my case and took the next train north, to G. It was delayed.
Was it one of the black cats I saw cycling hours before?
At 16.53 I called my sister. I don't know why I just had a feeling something was wrong. Maybe a song of Shakira on my mp3 made me feel so?
As I called her, my sister said it's better to tell you right now,our dad died.
I was sitting in a crowded train when she told it. I was emotional but could control it on the English way, a stiff upper lip. I couldn't pronounce words of 2 syllables or more. I felt defeated.
However when I arrived in G. I walked and ran to the hospital. Ouch, in the weekend they close the entrance I considered being opened. I had to take the main entrance.
Finally I made it to my dad. It took me 2.5 hours. 45 Minutes to late.
He was already in a spare room where my sister and I talked about his qualities, his bad and good habits, his shortcomings. Sometimes he gave an eye-wink I imagined and he smiled all the time. Yes, he laid on the bed peacefully like a pirate with great grey whiskers and white long hair combed to the back of his scull. Seemingly thanking for pardoning his mistakes and ending his suffering. Is this the end of 20 years or more trying to be out of sight? Sure is that at the end of the week he'll submerge for good.
I loved you dad and I wish you showed more to us.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Family
Many people have a complex family structure. A structure which originates from marriages and divorces, where children are between the parties involved.
So is my family. My mother is with her third man and my father is with his third wife.
The 1st man of my mother is my father, her 2nd one died and the 3rd man was a soldier in the middle of the Srebrenica massacre in 1995. He left the army and does the work he likes. He's also divorced and he works to pay the maintenance allowance for his wife who refuses to work.
My father divorced my mother in 1978 and married another woman shortly after my mother remarried. Sadly after 5 years my father's marriage didn't work and I was in the middle of it. No fights however, only words. My father was irresponsible. They divorced and I stayed with my father. After weeks that didn't work out and I chose to stay with his 2nd wife. When I went to college I spoke him once. Later I phoned him a couple of times. In fact I phoned him 2 weeks ago to make sure that he was still alive.
His 3rd wife arrived shortly after. I never spoke to her.
This evening I brought myself a Suriname rice-beans-chicken dinner. I usually don't do that. When I wanted to eat the telephone rang. It was my mother. She never called so early so it must be something. I asked her if it was something serious because I wanted to eat. After dinner I would call her back.
I did so. She told me that my fathers wife called. I had to call her back. He isn't well. He had a stroke and his heart didn't work to long. He's kept in a coma now. His brains might have had less oxygen I think and as a consequence his lungs don't work now.
Why am I called now. Why isn't he wise enough to search for contact. I phoned him a couple of times. Now I am told that he can't stand disappointments... I'm a little disappointed in my father. He forgot his children not withstanding his disappointments sofar.
But can I say that, he is my father after all.
So is my family. My mother is with her third man and my father is with his third wife.
The 1st man of my mother is my father, her 2nd one died and the 3rd man was a soldier in the middle of the Srebrenica massacre in 1995. He left the army and does the work he likes. He's also divorced and he works to pay the maintenance allowance for his wife who refuses to work.
My father divorced my mother in 1978 and married another woman shortly after my mother remarried. Sadly after 5 years my father's marriage didn't work and I was in the middle of it. No fights however, only words. My father was irresponsible. They divorced and I stayed with my father. After weeks that didn't work out and I chose to stay with his 2nd wife. When I went to college I spoke him once. Later I phoned him a couple of times. In fact I phoned him 2 weeks ago to make sure that he was still alive.
His 3rd wife arrived shortly after. I never spoke to her.
This evening I brought myself a Suriname rice-beans-chicken dinner. I usually don't do that. When I wanted to eat the telephone rang. It was my mother. She never called so early so it must be something. I asked her if it was something serious because I wanted to eat. After dinner I would call her back.
I did so. She told me that my fathers wife called. I had to call her back. He isn't well. He had a stroke and his heart didn't work to long. He's kept in a coma now. His brains might have had less oxygen I think and as a consequence his lungs don't work now.
Why am I called now. Why isn't he wise enough to search for contact. I phoned him a couple of times. Now I am told that he can't stand disappointments... I'm a little disappointed in my father. He forgot his children not withstanding his disappointments sofar.
But can I say that, he is my father after all.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Free Abdullah al-Mansouri
Abdullah Al-Mansouri is a Dutch Citizen with Iranian roots.
He's imprisoned in Iran because he defends the civil rights of minorities in Iran.
Because of his work he's been given a royal order in name of our queen.
He's been jailed for over a year now, without an attorney of his own choice, juridical assistance, and without contact with a Dutch representative which was allowed in the first place.
This Dutchman might be sentenced to death because of being a defender of civil rights.
The Iranian Ambassador denies this sentence. Amnesty International insists on a fair trail.
I want you to help me and sign the letter at the bottom of this post. Please act now.
Hopefully you understand the urgency of acting.
Iran is sensitive for public opinion (which country isn't in these times? Libya, Syria, North Korea, Sudan, and other countries)
Your Excellency,
I am writing to you regarding the plight of Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri who I understand has been detained for more then one year without any reason being given. Amnesty has been informed that Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri has been brought into court without the assistance of a lawyer of his choice.
This appears to be in violation with the right to a fair trial and therefore against the Convention on Civil and Political Rights that Iran has ratified. I therefore appeal to you to look into this case urgently, with a view to releasing Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri. Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri should get immediate access to a lawyer of his choice, and receive any medical treatment he may require. Furthermore he should be allowed a Dutch representative to be present during the hearings. In no case should the death penalty be imposed.
Yours respectfully,
I signed it. See this link Sadly I couldn't get the english version of it.
He's imprisoned in Iran because he defends the civil rights of minorities in Iran.
Because of his work he's been given a royal order in name of our queen.
He's been jailed for over a year now, without an attorney of his own choice, juridical assistance, and without contact with a Dutch representative which was allowed in the first place.
This Dutchman might be sentenced to death because of being a defender of civil rights.
The Iranian Ambassador denies this sentence. Amnesty International insists on a fair trail.
I want you to help me and sign the letter at the bottom of this post. Please act now.
Hopefully you understand the urgency of acting.
Iran is sensitive for public opinion (which country isn't in these times? Libya, Syria, North Korea, Sudan, and other countries)
Your Excellency,
I am writing to you regarding the plight of Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri who I understand has been detained for more then one year without any reason being given. Amnesty has been informed that Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri has been brought into court without the assistance of a lawyer of his choice.
This appears to be in violation with the right to a fair trial and therefore against the Convention on Civil and Political Rights that Iran has ratified. I therefore appeal to you to look into this case urgently, with a view to releasing Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri. Faleh Abdoullah Al-Mansouri should get immediate access to a lawyer of his choice, and receive any medical treatment he may require. Furthermore he should be allowed a Dutch representative to be present during the hearings. In no case should the death penalty be imposed.
Yours respectfully,
I signed it. See this link Sadly I couldn't get the english version of it.
Sunday, October 21, 2007
The nightingale
The sound of a nightingale
Last week I received the periodical of my Wednesday cycle club.
The Nightingale riders are in the doldrums of winter the news says. The riders skate on ice, run (something completely different) or cycle on their ATB's small distances on unpaved ways. The news is that 2 active riders will start on Wednesday 1 pm for a ride of 50-70 kilometer (instead of 6 pm).
Some people will get through the winter.
Then I read about the time trial. I was 5th of 10 riders. Okay, now it's on paper. I read about a weekend in the Ardennes and received some links to sites about cycling in the mountains.
When I read the periodical again I read about keeping your line when riding in a group. At the end of the season 2 riders who crashed. My name was mentioned as one of the riders. Again it was stressed to keep your line.
Today the solar challenge in Australia started. That makes me dreaming of cycling from south to north Australia. Let's keep on dreaming.
Last week I received the periodical of my Wednesday cycle club.
The Nightingale riders are in the doldrums of winter the news says. The riders skate on ice, run (something completely different) or cycle on their ATB's small distances on unpaved ways. The news is that 2 active riders will start on Wednesday 1 pm for a ride of 50-70 kilometer (instead of 6 pm).
Some people will get through the winter.
Then I read about the time trial. I was 5th of 10 riders. Okay, now it's on paper. I read about a weekend in the Ardennes and received some links to sites about cycling in the mountains.
When I read the periodical again I read about keeping your line when riding in a group. At the end of the season 2 riders who crashed. My name was mentioned as one of the riders. Again it was stressed to keep your line.
Today the solar challenge in Australia started. That makes me dreaming of cycling from south to north Australia. Let's keep on dreaming.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Referendum
Yesterday we have had a referendum because we need a new mayor on January 1 2008.
A month ago an application-committee chose 2 applicant (out of 26 candidates) between the citizens could choose. 2 Members of the same party. Almost the same background in politics, both candidate mayor were not real people mayors.
They campaigned 3 weeks and couldn't get close to the people resulting in a polling rate of less than 10%!
My ill neighbor, this week on holiday, I suggested to vote for her. Well at least my polling station had 1 voter. I voted blank and made my comment on the voting bill, making my vote invalid. This could be an election in a single party state. It's a farce, a dictature of a committee who decides who can be voted for.
Don't fool citizens with elections which aren't democratic at all.
A month ago an application-committee chose 2 applicant (out of 26 candidates) between the citizens could choose. 2 Members of the same party. Almost the same background in politics, both candidate mayor were not real people mayors.
They campaigned 3 weeks and couldn't get close to the people resulting in a polling rate of less than 10%!
My ill neighbor, this week on holiday, I suggested to vote for her. Well at least my polling station had 1 voter. I voted blank and made my comment on the voting bill, making my vote invalid. This could be an election in a single party state. It's a farce, a dictature of a committee who decides who can be voted for.
Don't fool citizens with elections which aren't democratic at all.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
positiveness in the rotten world
When I read the stories, or blog of HNK and Najma 2 sisters from Iraq, I see the sadness in their eyes... If they could study in the Netherlands far away from the war.
Positive is that yesterday I cycled again for a while... I felt okay but my condition is far from good. The weather is great so I will go to the club at noon.
Yesterday I made a cool picture of a bicycle and I never want mine to be treated like that..
Take a look on my
photoblog for other pictures.
Positive is that yesterday I cycled again for a while... I felt okay but my condition is far from good. The weather is great so I will go to the club at noon.
Yesterday I made a cool picture of a bicycle and I never want mine to be treated like that..
Take a look on my
photoblog for other pictures.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
heartbreaking
My neighbor has bad news again: yesterday was told that if in a PET scan tumors are found in her kidneys there will be no operation. The good news is that today they started with feeding by a stomach tube. Hopefully she will gain weight so that the operation is possible. Next week she will have a short holiday on one of the Dutch islands. In the last 5 years she's never been on a holiday.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Result
Well the doctors told my neighbor what's wrong. A 9 centimeter (5 inch ?) tumor in her oesophagus, with several smaller tumors lower in the oesophagus. It was shocking Friday, just like 2 weeks ago when she heard it was cancer. Now she was told the procedure and what the doctors can do. First she has to gain weight, at least 10 kilograms. (from only 45 kilo's!!). Then a solution may be an operation to take away the tumor. It's an operation which asks much of the body. How do I react on her bad news? She realizes how bad her position is but doesn't want to think about her near future. First things first. Wednesday she has talks with a doctor who'll be important for her, if the will live or die, her faith is in his hands she told. I learned from my mother that I should not talk always about her bad situation. So I tried to change the subject a little to the election of a major for our city.
Now I write this down I feel how absurd this is. If a situation is hopeless you often can better say nothing, because anything you say might be painful. In the beginning I was speechless, but in fact I had a lot of question. I tried to talk about daily life; the election of a new city-major. about her love for history, Rome and the ancient caves where she has had lesson about the ancient Roman history. She told me about skeletons found which fascinates her.
How morbid can ordinary life be. She might not life through another year and here he talk about dead people. I really hope the best for her and everybody around her but I fear the worst. I won't tell her what I think, I'll try to be optimistic and will talk about daily life. That's what I can do.
The morbidness is that she sleeps, or tries to sleep, just one floor under me and that I live my life .... (my neighbor on my level doesn't even know what's going on).
Now I write this down I feel how absurd this is. If a situation is hopeless you often can better say nothing, because anything you say might be painful. In the beginning I was speechless, but in fact I had a lot of question. I tried to talk about daily life; the election of a new city-major. about her love for history, Rome and the ancient caves where she has had lesson about the ancient Roman history. She told me about skeletons found which fascinates her.
How morbid can ordinary life be. She might not life through another year and here he talk about dead people. I really hope the best for her and everybody around her but I fear the worst. I won't tell her what I think, I'll try to be optimistic and will talk about daily life. That's what I can do.
The morbidness is that she sleeps, or tries to sleep, just one floor under me and that I live my life .... (my neighbor on my level doesn't even know what's going on).
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