French alp

Hi, it seems a long time I've been written something. Busy with cycling, house, work, etcetera. Concerning cycling, I did the Alpe d'HuZes on thursday 7 June. I climbed the mountain Alpe d'Huez 4 times. 14 Kilometer climbing with a fast downhill and that 4 times. I am glad I did it. My team collected more than 24,000 Euro.

 

Mountain

It's a decision I've made already for myself. I'll climb the col de Alpe D'huez in the French Alpes.
By doing this I support the fight against cancer. The goal of the organization is to find money for making cancer a chronic instead of a mortal disease.

The main goal is to climb 1,000 meter in a 14,000 meter long road to the top of the mountain several times. Hopefully I get some people who donate some money on the account of my part of the AlpeDuZes-website which will follow later this year.

As a team of 8 cyclists we wanna raise 20,0000 Euro or more.
I'm excited how to reach so much money for the good cause.
Yeah, finally I can do something good with my more or less selfish riding.

There is one big question. To be part of the climbers I have to do a medical examination to secure my application for this ride.

cancer

I was positif about going to cycle against cancer on June 7 2012.
But now I feel negatif because of medical examination.

C

Today is my 30th birthday, my rebirth, a totally new me.
A reboot of the system who I was. It changed me.
Despite my four weeks coma I still work with the same core processor inside.

Since that day plus 24 days I had to learn anything. But almost everything came back in a natural way. I didn't recognize that I worked for it. Children have the willpower go for real limits. Maybe it is one of the evolutionary elements we still have. We struggle through our lives and find way's to live because giving up is no option.

This is also the slogan of the bicycle climb of the Alpe d'Huez.
The ride is meant to earn money for the struggle against cancer.
The goal is to earn more than 30 mil. Euro.

I'll be there on June 7 2012.

Salute Jeanette

Last night I got a phone call from a neighbor about my downstairs neighbor who is terminally ill. It's the cancer you know. It's affecting her liver. Tomorrow she'll be hospitalized in a so called hospice. She is at the end of her life. 13 Months after the final operation to remove the tumor she trows the towel. It's busy in her house, people come and go. Care isn't garantueed during the x-mas long holiday weekend. She fell in her house and is a little scared.

So, at noon tomorrow she will driven in an ambulance to the house where she will receive the attention and care she needs. It will be very emotional for her. It will probably her in her final descent in the house she lived in for more than 30 years. A descent on a stretcher, not even walking.

Salute Jeanette, you're a brave lady. Hopefully you don't suffer and have a fine X-mas and New Year's eve.

Testimony

Maybe it's time to inform the world about my neighbor with a bad aggressive cancer.
I wrote you about her in my blog in September 2007.

Her situation worsened that should be clear. She was operated more than a year ago and she recovered slowly, first without a voice. Then it seemed doctors made an error during the operation which resulted in another way using her voice. When the days got warmer she went outside for a walk but it was to much, she fainted several again. She even got dizzy in her house. When Summer past she hardly went outside. A wheelchair was arranged to go for a walk with her. But when Autumn arrived and the weather worsened she stayed inside. Afraid to catch a cold. She became more and more tired because she was locked in in her own apartment. Days past and many visitors came. They had some smalltalk about the past and the things they had together. She wrote her testimony and made a list of things she would give away. Dead is near.
She got morphine and other painkillers. A wrong dose and she had a trip. A roller coaster ride in her bed. She was afraid that night. After that night her friends made a schedule to sleep in her house and watch over her.

Some weeks ago she phoned me and told in which condition she was. The doctors give me 5 till 7 weeks, she told, I might not be here anymore when Christmas arrives.
Her liver grows and doesn't work properly. Also it presses against her lungs so she gets short-winded.

She has a hospital bed in the middle of her living room, a lot of people who care for her and morphine to endure the pain. She said that it's the worst illness one can have. It damages the whole of her body. Luckily not her mind.

She has mentioned euthanasia as a possible way of dying. Her feeding machine prevents her from dying. She gets enough Joules to stay alive. Normally people with cancer get weak because they don't eat anymore and die. It's a simplification but in the end it's the truth.

736th post

I'm blogging 4 years and 3 months now.
I've written 735 posts and used an average of 150 words. I used per post appr. 30 minutes. That makes 360 hours. That equals 10 working weeks of 36 hours.
Per year I could save 2.35 weeks of vacation if I didn't blog. But I do.

I could do the same with cycling. 4 years cycling with an average of 6,000 k a year equals 24,000k. With an average speed of 28k/hr it means I rode 857 hours in 4.25 years.
Per year I could save 5.6 working weeks if I didn't bicycle. But unfortunately I do.

This week I'll have a newspaper again. I didn't have one for some time now and it felt good. But lately I bought again a daily paper called NRCNext. It's a readable newspaper with all the news, though a little brief. When I received a letter of the publisher to have a free subscription I couldn't say no. It's without obligation so why not?
Exactly at the right moment a few weeks before the US presidential election.

My neighbor isn't doing well. I told you a long time ago about. The cancer worsened. The tumors spread to her liver. A few months ago she was told she would possibly not be alive at the end of the year.
Last week she was told that her life expectation is only 5 to 7 weeks. The day before yesterday she told me. She can't believe herself that it goes so quick. Last week she told me she could still wash herself but now she needs help. She isn't tired with life at all but she is tired of being in her house for so long now. She can't do so many things anymore as she is really weakened. She made a list of the things in her house she'll give away to some people. She checked her testimony, her will.
Now her friends will come at the nights, which she fears most, to sleep and watch over her. This week a hospital bed will be brought. They made a schedule who will sleep in her house. Those are the practical things.
Psychologically it's hard for her too. She has to let everything go. She gives her belongings away, mostly paintings, sculptures and things used in other cultures she collected on her journeys a long time ago.
So she follows almost the path of Taoism. I told her to let the things go. Yes, she said till now all my travels were going somewhere but now I'm going to somewhere which is unknown. I agreed, this will be your biggest journey so far.
Okay, we talked about daily life too. About dog's tax. And we laughed.

Hopefully everyone is okay

Since November/December 07 I didn't write about my downstairs-neighbor. She'd a huge tumor in her oesophagus. The surgeons removed her oesophagus and due to complications she literally lost her voice. She could only whisper. In the weeks after she had to recover by gaining weight. But how? She cannot eat like we do. Her stomach is used for a new oesophagus so food was nothing more than bouillon or a very light soup. The intestines couldn't bear the food. But now she's improving however still fears the dumping-syndrome. She doesn't gain weight so the doctors fear that her body might affect her muscles. She must gain weight by eating and not using energy. (no walking, no household, keeping temperature in the house comfortable, try to eat every hour some bouillon)

At work I asked a colleague of mine who dealt with my neighbors case if he heard something about her new application to get some extra support for several weeks.

A few hours later this colleague told my roommates and me the terrifying news that he has a tumor in his head and possibly cancer in his liver. Last week he had a MRI-scan which made that obvious.

Hopefully everybody else I know is fine...

heartbreaking

My neighbor has bad news again: yesterday was told that if in a PET scan tumors are found in her kidneys there will be no operation. The good news is that today they started with feeding by a stomach tube. Hopefully she will gain weight so that the operation is possible. Next week she will have a short holiday on one of the Dutch islands. In the last 5 years she's never been on a holiday.

Worries

At work everyhing is okay, that means for the time being. Our new teamleader is really good. She is keen and picks up the things that matter very quicky. After the 3 weeks she's in duty now, she dalayed talks my colleage and I had with another department. Something we didn't want on the short term. She gives me a feeling that she cares for her people.

2 weeks ago my neighbor has heard the result of a second opinion. For 2 years now she has difficulties with eating and digesting food. Even drinking is ard to do.
The result of the test was a slap in the face: cancer on the oesophagus.
The last 2 weeks were actually like before; She did a lot of tests. The results will be here this week I think. It´s not clear to me if the cancer is malicious.

The week revisited

Friday I came home after another day of work. I was really tired.
The Thursdaynight was a little bit to long I think. Today I don't feel well, a severe headache. It's like I've had an enormous blow against the head. But that's not true I just went to bed very late. Also this week has had many thing to think about. First the cancer of the child last Tuesday, second the change of work, the talks about the tender and the financial wishes ( will be continued next week) and 3rd my neighbor.

My neighbor has had her examination in the hospital. After having trouble with eating and swallowing food and even water for at least 2 years now. The family doctor didn't really help, as well as the hospital doctors who are concentrating on her lower stomach. That's why she fought the medical institution for her right for a second opinion

Not much later when I was in the telephone rang. It was my neighbor. She was really quick telling about her health. It's cancer. A bad one. And because she is now recognized as a cancer patient, there will be action as soon as possible. Well Friday, tiredness, I talked 30 minutes with her. (no infact she talked 29 minutes to me) She doesn't realize what that means at the moment she told me. Clinically she pointed me out it was her mistake not to take action when not long ago a doctor (dr. M.A.M.T. Verhagen) told her that it could be a mentally disorder. He didn't want to give her a second opinion.

Well last week sucks.

Work

Work; the day started with some sun on the horizon. I felt sharp and it took me little time to reach the office.

3 Of my colleagues were already there. The day promised much. So I sat behind my desk and told my co-worker about my thoughts the work I'm doing. I won't do this kind of work for another 4 years I told him. There must be a change. We have to enter the digitalized world totally and the next public tender is the next step to go to a complete digital financial administration.
After having said that, I finished my letter to my labour-union for some assistance in the change of work.

At 11 am my colleague and I had talks about the public offering procedure with Jaap (who knows a lot about software, and connecting systems) and Madeleine. (from Planning & Control, who is member of the tender-committee) Talking with each other it became clear that we could learn from each other. Also I have a feeling that our remarks to put some minimal requirements in the tender triggered one and another. But we have to otherwise we are lame ducks not be able to work on a digital financial administration.

When I saw Madeleine I had to think about the Portuguese Madeleine affair. What happened in Portugal?

At noon Jaap got a telephone call from home, his wife called and he expected it.
But when he came back after 5 minutes he was shocked "I've to go immediately"
When he sat down he told that his daughter has a malicious tumour on her knee.
She is only 11 years old.
I never know what to do (and what to say) when I hear such news.

At home I thought how deep the impact on the parents must be. Of course the child must be in shock too, but I think that children are survivors. I got a feeling that children accept the situation they are in but at the same time they will be opportunists in a positive way. If you think differently let me know.