Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Friday, August 26, 2011
niece
My brother has his first child. It was born yesterday. A little girl of 6,500 grams. All healthy I heard. They had some miscarriages so they must be very happy with the fresh child.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
tiger
Years ago we had neighboors raising their children in a strange way. When the children didn't make their homework from school well they had to stand on the staircase, face the stairs and there the children had to stand for some time. How long? No idea. But it was to make the children better, to let them learn and have excellent marks. The parents tried to break the children to make them do things the parents wanted them to do. It's psychological warfare between the parents and children.
For us, Dutchmen it's like being crazy. But in a way it isn't. It's accepted in society. We got a name for it; the church. It has it's derivates which are all based on the same believe in God. Some believes are more strict than others. But when it all comes together they can achieve great results in exploiting people. Churches bring people together and together they can reach something beyond reach for an individual.
With a non Catholic church the Dutch united to free their country from the Spanish Inquisitor.
In the meantime the 17th century started and it became the Golden Century of the Dutch. Only 5 million (a quick estimate) people ruled the waves. We had outposts everywhere in the known world of those days.
How did we do that?
We were reliable when we had to. Traders exist by having customers. The Dutch merchants could deliver products nobody had in Europe.
So unity made us big. (the United East Indies Company) We didn't want the highest quality because quality has it's price. We just had the best price/quality ratio.
Now I'm back in the present world where I see competitiveness and fathers and mothers still wanting the best for their kids.
They tell their kids what to do, what to want and how to pursue the objectives the parents set. For one type of parent the highest isn't good enough. They are called the tiger mother and tiger father. They want their offspring to be the best in the qualities they have. They demand 10's in Europe and the equivalent A's in the US.
Okay, what's up doc? Boring?
Well the American Amy Chua is a tiger mother and she wrote a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
This is madness if it's being institutionalized.
Yeah, being the best in something you study at University. Only one can be the best. There will be a lot of ugly faces because they didn't make it.
This is not efficient and effective. The price of studying will be higher. Maybe the money driven college will attrack more motivated students but keeps the spirit of creativity away.
In a way the Dutch are moving towards an University where only the best can go to. This is painfull for those who aren't. Being the best costs a lot. I should have had a tiger mother, ha ha.
It pays when you have one.
Are studies available on being raised by a tiger mother? I wonder how the social & emotional component of the study is interpreted.
I think the Chinese concept for raising your kid(s) is functional in a Chinese structure. There are many people with the same skills and knowledge.
The Chinese have as object China. China is aimed at the interior. That means much competition and being outstanding is something to be when you want to climb Maslow's mountain of these days.
The Dutch have to be aimed at the exterior. Through history we have had to be efficient and effective. The last thing we need is a tiger as a parent.
For us, Dutchmen it's like being crazy. But in a way it isn't. It's accepted in society. We got a name for it; the church. It has it's derivates which are all based on the same believe in God. Some believes are more strict than others. But when it all comes together they can achieve great results in exploiting people. Churches bring people together and together they can reach something beyond reach for an individual.
With a non Catholic church the Dutch united to free their country from the Spanish Inquisitor.
In the meantime the 17th century started and it became the Golden Century of the Dutch. Only 5 million (a quick estimate) people ruled the waves. We had outposts everywhere in the known world of those days.
How did we do that?
We were reliable when we had to. Traders exist by having customers. The Dutch merchants could deliver products nobody had in Europe.
So unity made us big. (the United East Indies Company) We didn't want the highest quality because quality has it's price. We just had the best price/quality ratio.
Now I'm back in the present world where I see competitiveness and fathers and mothers still wanting the best for their kids.
They tell their kids what to do, what to want and how to pursue the objectives the parents set. For one type of parent the highest isn't good enough. They are called the tiger mother and tiger father. They want their offspring to be the best in the qualities they have. They demand 10's in Europe and the equivalent A's in the US.
Okay, what's up doc? Boring?
Well the American Amy Chua is a tiger mother and she wrote a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
This is madness if it's being institutionalized.
Yeah, being the best in something you study at University. Only one can be the best. There will be a lot of ugly faces because they didn't make it.
This is not efficient and effective. The price of studying will be higher. Maybe the money driven college will attrack more motivated students but keeps the spirit of creativity away.
In a way the Dutch are moving towards an University where only the best can go to. This is painfull for those who aren't. Being the best costs a lot. I should have had a tiger mother, ha ha.
It pays when you have one.
Are studies available on being raised by a tiger mother? I wonder how the social & emotional component of the study is interpreted.
I think the Chinese concept for raising your kid(s) is functional in a Chinese structure. There are many people with the same skills and knowledge.
The Chinese have as object China. China is aimed at the interior. That means much competition and being outstanding is something to be when you want to climb Maslow's mountain of these days.
The Dutch have to be aimed at the exterior. Through history we have had to be efficient and effective. The last thing we need is a tiger as a parent.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
contrast
A long time ago there was a house in a man made forest. I was afraid of the house. In the house lived a family. That family had 2 lovely daughters. The path leading to the house started at the public road. At the junction of the path and the public road there was a farmhouse.
After the divorce of my parents I went to that farmhouse. I learned something about farm life, country life. I learned the language of my parents. I learned something from the bible, being in a church, going to school on a Sunday. I learned how it feels to be the best in class. I learned how not to make love to a lovely girl in a cornfield. I learned the difference between life and death. I learned the difference between snowfall and a blizzard. I learned about the danger of a storm.
I killed fish and nurtured calves. I chased birds to be shot by hunters. I stole bird eggs from nesting birds. I learned how to ride an unsaddled horse.
That year I've had no fear while my parents had a fight. While my lil sis and lil bro lived in the house we used to live in as a family. This continued for more than a year. That year I felt that I lost family life. And I wept about it, silently.
That year was also the most fantastic year in my life in which I don´t want to play a part in again.
Back to the house in the man made woods there once lived my great grandmother. I didn´t know that history in those days. It was a year of the contrasts, the good and bad side.
After the divorce of my parents I went to that farmhouse. I learned something about farm life, country life. I learned the language of my parents. I learned something from the bible, being in a church, going to school on a Sunday. I learned how it feels to be the best in class. I learned how not to make love to a lovely girl in a cornfield. I learned the difference between life and death. I learned the difference between snowfall and a blizzard. I learned about the danger of a storm.
I killed fish and nurtured calves. I chased birds to be shot by hunters. I stole bird eggs from nesting birds. I learned how to ride an unsaddled horse.
That year I've had no fear while my parents had a fight. While my lil sis and lil bro lived in the house we used to live in as a family. This continued for more than a year. That year I felt that I lost family life. And I wept about it, silently.
That year was also the most fantastic year in my life in which I don´t want to play a part in again.
Back to the house in the man made woods there once lived my great grandmother. I didn´t know that history in those days. It was a year of the contrasts, the good and bad side.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Johnny
Woke up at 7.30 am and I took a short time to get ready to take the train to the appointment I made with my mom.
When I arrived we chatted about the snow. She made her neighbor a compliment. He cleaned all the snow of the ice. The kids now have a nice icetrack.
After a cup of coffee she asked me about the dentist and I told her about it. She said that she doesn't see anything and asked if it gives me problems.
I told her what the problem is and what a solution can be.
Problem nr 2 was the bad dream. I told her about the fight, the quarrel and the words I heard when I was 7, 8 years old. She asked me who I did hear and I told I heard her. I´ve never dreamt in sounds and this was so weird and so obvious. I told that it was her voice, my mom. But it's not about the past I immediately told her. It's about the present. So let bygones be bygones.
This was emotional for her because she knows everything about the quarrels with my dad. My mom became defensive, which is a normal reaction of people, so I had to pull out the sting. I told her that it's all about the present and the future. The past is not involved, again, let bygones be bygones.
Problem nr 3 was a confession I made. It took me a long introduction by introducing her with the book of Jonathan Franzen and telling her a summary of the story. When I told her about the death of the assistant of Walter I broke, at least it was painful.
I told my mom that after attractive assistant died that Walter lived in a small world for 6 years.
Then I told her that I lost contact with Fennie in 1993. She didn´t know that. It probably explains a lot for her.
She said that she would help me if she could.
She helped by listening to what I told.
go Johnny
Thanks to Lalitha
and E. who told me
things
go Johnny
go for the Edelweiss
on the slopes of
Maslow´s mountain
Bring home
as a gift
the most precious thing
in life
love
When I arrived we chatted about the snow. She made her neighbor a compliment. He cleaned all the snow of the ice. The kids now have a nice icetrack.
After a cup of coffee she asked me about the dentist and I told her about it. She said that she doesn't see anything and asked if it gives me problems.
I told her what the problem is and what a solution can be.
Problem nr 2 was the bad dream. I told her about the fight, the quarrel and the words I heard when I was 7, 8 years old. She asked me who I did hear and I told I heard her. I´ve never dreamt in sounds and this was so weird and so obvious. I told that it was her voice, my mom. But it's not about the past I immediately told her. It's about the present. So let bygones be bygones.
This was emotional for her because she knows everything about the quarrels with my dad. My mom became defensive, which is a normal reaction of people, so I had to pull out the sting. I told her that it's all about the present and the future. The past is not involved, again, let bygones be bygones.
Problem nr 3 was a confession I made. It took me a long introduction by introducing her with the book of Jonathan Franzen and telling her a summary of the story. When I told her about the death of the assistant of Walter I broke, at least it was painful.
I told my mom that after attractive assistant died that Walter lived in a small world for 6 years.
Then I told her that I lost contact with Fennie in 1993. She didn´t know that. It probably explains a lot for her.
She said that she would help me if she could.
She helped by listening to what I told.
go Johnny
Thanks to Lalitha
and E. who told me
things
go Johnny
go for the Edelweiss
on the slopes of
Maslow´s mountain
Bring home
as a gift
the most precious thing
in life
love
Monday, December 27, 2010
Go
Today I worked. I just started and payed a lot of bills.
Tomorrow I'm a day off work. I got something else to do.
This afternoon I phoned my mother to say I wanna come over to discuss some things.
It was an unusual short call and shortly after that call she called back.
She was a bit agitated and wanted to know what it was where I wanted to talk about.
Did she feel a bit hostility from my side? Who knows. But I would let the bygones be bygones. She said that I was strictly business and that she would like to know what it was about. If she knew, she could prepare herself.
I would speak with her about the bad dream of some time ago, the dentist, all about Fennie (she doesn't know that she and I said goodbye 17 years ago) and that I want to get back in touch, my work, the book of Jonathan Franzen (The death of Lalitha felt like a stab in my heart.)
I told her that it's only about my worries.
(Her violent divorce has hurt all her children, but that is bygone.)
This is how I try to get my life on track.
Tomorrow I'm a day off work. I got something else to do.
This afternoon I phoned my mother to say I wanna come over to discuss some things.
It was an unusual short call and shortly after that call she called back.
She was a bit agitated and wanted to know what it was where I wanted to talk about.
Did she feel a bit hostility from my side? Who knows. But I would let the bygones be bygones. She said that I was strictly business and that she would like to know what it was about. If she knew, she could prepare herself.
I would speak with her about the bad dream of some time ago, the dentist, all about Fennie (she doesn't know that she and I said goodbye 17 years ago) and that I want to get back in touch, my work, the book of Jonathan Franzen (The death of Lalitha felt like a stab in my heart.)
I told her that it's only about my worries.
(Her violent divorce has hurt all her children, but that is bygone.)
This is how I try to get my life on track.
Monday, December 13, 2010
censorship
On issues concerned work I have to censor myself. No work related blog from me. I'm afraid of Uleaks. McCarthy couldn't have done it better.
It's a bad thing but big brother is watching us. Wikileaks. Children of 15 and 19 years were arrested. Why? because they downloaded a program to make certain sites unreachable. The real hackers laugh about that.
I am writing a book about Marie and her family. On 1-1-1795 her father became Mayor of the city I actually life in. How peculiar because when I started this story I made a story board. That was in 2000. 2 years later I moved to where I live now. It's funny but I could have found my luck on an island. How different from life in a city.
If I learned something of this is that the opportunity leads you to the place where you belong. My brother found his love in The Hague, my sister in Groningen and Tunisia. I'm still looking for that opportunity. And yes, I'm from a family that dies young but finds the right opportunity in the end.
It's a bad thing but big brother is watching us. Wikileaks. Children of 15 and 19 years were arrested. Why? because they downloaded a program to make certain sites unreachable. The real hackers laugh about that.
I am writing a book about Marie and her family. On 1-1-1795 her father became Mayor of the city I actually life in. How peculiar because when I started this story I made a story board. That was in 2000. 2 years later I moved to where I live now. It's funny but I could have found my luck on an island. How different from life in a city.
If I learned something of this is that the opportunity leads you to the place where you belong. My brother found his love in The Hague, my sister in Groningen and Tunisia. I'm still looking for that opportunity. And yes, I'm from a family that dies young but finds the right opportunity in the end.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
family
The test I talked about in Aura I was tested as an entrepreneur. There might be something in it. Lately I heard a behavioral theory about people who come from the area I come from. I'm from the moor. Originally my family before the 19th century came from the north west of Germany, on border with The Netherlands. They moved west because there the work was.
Later in the 20th century some unmarried men moved to the mines and the moors in the south of The Netherlands. Even some people moved to the moors in south west England. My family in the early days had no homes. They moved from place to place because once you live in the moor you got no certainty. Within a few years or less the turf development moved and therefor the families had to move quickly and had to rebuilt the house elsewhere. It was a cheap shelter for animals and humans.
some kind of turf shed
Those days my family had the drive to find new places to excel, no matter how marginal their existence was. They tried to make all the best of it. The best they could do was to move. People moved 200 kilometers, others 700 kilometers. They were the opportunists of their times. Some had the entrepreneurship and worked for DSM or Philips, but above all they did their own thing.
This is the opportunistic family I'm from. Surviving the worst, dealing with the best things there are. Wonder if anybody went to America.
Originally we come from a farm between Oldenburg and Meppen in Germany. Catholicism and the birth rate did the family grow and spread their wings over North West Europe.
Later in the 20th century some unmarried men moved to the mines and the moors in the south of The Netherlands. Even some people moved to the moors in south west England. My family in the early days had no homes. They moved from place to place because once you live in the moor you got no certainty. Within a few years or less the turf development moved and therefor the families had to move quickly and had to rebuilt the house elsewhere. It was a cheap shelter for animals and humans.
some kind of turf shed
Those days my family had the drive to find new places to excel, no matter how marginal their existence was. They tried to make all the best of it. The best they could do was to move. People moved 200 kilometers, others 700 kilometers. They were the opportunists of their times. Some had the entrepreneurship and worked for DSM or Philips, but above all they did their own thing.
This is the opportunistic family I'm from. Surviving the worst, dealing with the best things there are. Wonder if anybody went to America.
Originally we come from a farm between Oldenburg and Meppen in Germany. Catholicism and the birth rate did the family grow and spread their wings over North West Europe.
Monday, November 01, 2010
cycle city
Amazing how few cars are in the old city of Groningen in Holland.
This is the town my kids could grow up.
This is the town my kids could grow up.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Crazy
Today I took a day off. First of all because my central heater had to be cleaned. The appointment was made in the afternoon so I had some time to do things I can't do at work. I wanted to call the last known laborer of the woman I want to get back in touch with.
I haven't seen her for more than 15 years now. I completely lost track of her while I knew her so well. She made me what I am partly. She was kind of mother for me. Call her a friend. 32 Years ago she came into my life and finally 17 later it was over. Due to myself I must say. I sometimes completely get fucked up with myself. If I'm crazy.
I called her former employer and finally spoke an ex colleague who knows the woman I'm looking for. That was emotional. I asked her how Fennie is doing. She hasn't spoken with her for a long time so she didn't know. But she will ask her to contact me. That's all she can do. But I felt happy that Fennie might get in touch. Let's hope for it.
I haven't seen her for more than 15 years now. I completely lost track of her while I knew her so well. She made me what I am partly. She was kind of mother for me. Call her a friend. 32 Years ago she came into my life and finally 17 later it was over. Due to myself I must say. I sometimes completely get fucked up with myself. If I'm crazy.
I called her former employer and finally spoke an ex colleague who knows the woman I'm looking for. That was emotional. I asked her how Fennie is doing. She hasn't spoken with her for a long time so she didn't know. But she will ask her to contact me. That's all she can do. But I felt happy that Fennie might get in touch. Let's hope for it.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Happy New Year
Today I read a short front page newspaper article which said that 20% of the Dutch doesn't celebrate New Year's eve. People seem to be tired of celebrating and doing things they don't want to do. It's the stress factor a page filling article in the same newspaper told. People can't handle more than a month planning for the party month December. When read it I thought of my situation. After December 5 (which is a family-day with presents for the children and grand children and poems) I was asked when I was coming to X-mas dinner with my mother. There are 2 days you must know, December 25 and 26. My mother told me that the 2nd day she would go to The Hague, to my brother and his girlfriend. So I had to go for X-mas dinner to my mum on December 25.
My sister with her 3 children would also be there. The party could begin. Pfff, I'm not used to children. I brought 3 bars fair trade, slave free, Tony chocolonely chocolate for the children with me. 2 ate some chunks of it and left it, because there was so much to do. The oldest one saved her bar though. That's what I would have done at her age.
Soon we'll have the last party of the year: December 31. I think I belong to the 20% minority.
Still I wish you a peaceful 2009!
My sister with her 3 children would also be there. The party could begin. Pfff, I'm not used to children. I brought 3 bars fair trade, slave free, Tony chocolonely chocolate for the children with me. 2 ate some chunks of it and left it, because there was so much to do. The oldest one saved her bar though. That's what I would have done at her age.
Soon we'll have the last party of the year: December 31. I think I belong to the 20% minority.
Still I wish you a peaceful 2009!
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