House

Can't hardly believe I am in the process of buying a house.
A house with a garden, 2 bedrooms, a study and a big attic.

I can't hardly believe it. It's a dream. It's also the process of cutting my decision bow I told about in a previous post.
But this is an extreme example. From nothing to something in less than 2 months. Don't think but do it. Buying a house I mean. But I thought it over for eight years.

Maybe not thinking but just doing is the meaning of life.

In one way or another this is another step on the Maslow pyramid.

April 1

This is always a hectic period. The period of the tax return ends on March 31.

I just got some days left and some things I just don't wanna know. I don't want to spoil my appetite to live. Okay, maybe that's over the top, but I might get depressed by knowing to much. Being depressed is losing appetite anyway. So I had a question for my psychologist. But before answering she said that time was up. Lets answer that question next time. Next Thursday, March 31.
My question is simple "what is a manic depression"? I googled it and there was an answer but not completely satisfying. Can she give me answers?
Some 20 years ago a student-psychologist rhetorically asked me what I thought about MD.
Did he know that being diagnosed MD (I'm not, let that be clear) means something for somebodies life.
Jesus, I watched to many movies with a hypochondriac Woody Allen

This weekend I read. I bought 2 new books. One of Johnathan Franzen, the corrections, the other one is about the Biblical Old Testament, aka as the Hebrew Bible. As I wrote something which happened 2000 years ago in the middle east, this is literature I should have.

tiger

Years ago we had neighboors raising their children in a strange way. When the children didn't make their homework from school well they had to stand on the staircase, face the stairs and there the children had to stand for some time. How long? No idea. But it was to make the children better, to let them learn and have excellent marks. The parents tried to break the children to make them do things the parents wanted them to do. It's psychological warfare between the parents and children.

For us, Dutchmen it's like being crazy. But in a way it isn't. It's accepted in society. We got a name for it; the church. It has it's derivates which are all based on the same believe in God. Some believes are more strict than others. But when it all comes together they can achieve great results in exploiting people. Churches bring people together and together they can reach something beyond reach for an individual.

With a non Catholic church the Dutch united to free their country from the Spanish Inquisitor.
In the meantime the 17th century started and it became the Golden Century of the Dutch. Only 5 million (a quick estimate) people ruled the waves. We had outposts everywhere in the known world of those days.

How did we do that?
We were reliable when we had to. Traders exist by having customers. The Dutch merchants could deliver products nobody had in Europe.
So unity made us big. (the United East Indies Company) We didn't want the highest quality because quality has it's price. We just had the best price/quality ratio.

Now I'm back in the present world where I see competitiveness and fathers and mothers still wanting the best for their kids.
They tell their kids what to do, what to want and how to pursue the objectives the parents set. For one type of parent the highest isn't good enough. They are called the tiger mother and tiger father. They want their offspring to be the best in the qualities they have. They demand 10's in Europe and the equivalent A's in the US.

Okay, what's up doc? Boring?
Well the American Amy Chua is a tiger mother and she wrote a book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

This is madness if it's being institutionalized.
Yeah, being the best in something you study at University. Only one can be the best. There will be a lot of ugly faces because they didn't make it.
This is not efficient and effective. The price of studying will be higher. Maybe the money driven college will attrack more motivated students but keeps the spirit of creativity away.
In a way the Dutch are moving towards an University where only the best can go to. This is painfull for those who aren't. Being the best costs a lot. I should have had a tiger mother, ha ha.
It pays when you have one.
Are studies available on being raised by a tiger mother? I wonder how the social & emotional component of the study is interpreted.

I think the Chinese concept for raising your kid(s) is functional in a Chinese structure. There are many people with the same skills and knowledge.
The Chinese have as object China. China is aimed at the interior. That means much competition and being outstanding is something to be when you want to climb Maslow's mountain of these days.

The Dutch have to be aimed at the exterior. Through history we have had to be efficient and effective. The last thing we need is a tiger as a parent.

brainvillage

Well I've had an intake for the next step to work on my strengths and weaknesses.

One of my weaknesses came to me in a dream. I really have forgotten time when I had that dream, say nightmare. That was the point of no return.
More strengths were presented to me in an assessment report from 2001. I totally neglected this report. I do have major strengths and the art is to exploit and develop these. Doesn't the O stand for opportunity?

I have to formulate the ultimate goal I want to achieve at the end of these fortnight sessions in a business center on a recently developed state of the art brain village in the middle of the Netherlands.

Well, this is the first step.

birthday

Today is my brothers birthday.
Tomorrow it's mine and Thursday it's my sisters.
Within 5 days we all have our birthday. It's all very organized and planned. It has some advantages but I never took them for granted.

Another thing, due to the fight with the taxi driver I found a letter in the mailbox today. It's from my work and it announces I can expect an official written warning. I can protest it, but I won't.
I respect the warning and I regret what I've done but I also see it a diploma for climbing Maslow's mountain.
It's only a fall but after that I can take a huge step to become even better.

hit

A few posts ago I spoke about the fall. I would write about it later I wrote.
This is the moment.

On Wednesday February 2 I had a difference in opinion about behavior in traffic. A taxi driver didn't signal that he wanted to turn right.
I was crossing the street and waited for him to pass. I made sure he didn't had the signals on and made it clear to him.

Many things happened. But the main the main thing is that I hit him in the face after being spit.
He wanted to go to the police. I have talked with the police (the police is on the radio now, what a coincidence)



The police officer told me that I could try mediation. I could do that, but no luck sofar.

I had a justify myself for the head of the department and she reports to the director. I know them both from the Council meetings. It's such a shame.

Overcoming setbacks is a part of climbing Maslow's mountain.

waiting

I waited 30 minutes for the doctor in the waiting room. I told him that it was a long waiting.
I waited 2 weeks for my new pair of glasses. I told the optician that it was quick.

Fall

Climbing means risking falling down. It means taking a certain risk of jeopardizing yourself and the crew you climb with. With taking a calculated risk of a fall it means you accept the risk of falling.

Is climbing similar to life and risks of climbing similar to the risks you face in life?
Accept life as it is. Accept that only you can change it for yourself.
Whatever will happen, see it as a step to Maslow´s peak.

If you can fall, I can fall and I did.
Mind that the fall is a metaphor, just as the mountain is.

Sign

I was preparing X-mas dinner when having the idea of throwing away the years. I made my life a mess. I wanna change. A few weeks ago I had a dream about which I told my colleague about. It had to do with the quarrels my mum and dad had when I was 8 to 10 years old. I heard my mother shout and cry. Always unpleasant, but it was the first time I heard it in a dream. Why did I hear it?
Well,my colleague told me to do something with it. Talk with your mother he told. He has some good experiences with the company-psychologist. That might be a next step.

Freedom is only a book, but Ï cried what happened with Lalitha and Walter. (Lalitha might be E. in my dreams)
The fact that Nameless lake is close to Fen-city is a sign for me to do something. Fen is the abbreviation of Fennie the front name of the woman I lived with for years.

dog-sledging

Climbing the Maslow mountain is indeed a climb with risks.
Getting tired, altitude disease, accidental fall, headache, aching muscles, dizziness. Then there are external factors such as traffic which makes this imaginary mountain huge.

The behavior theory says:
occurrence -> thought -> perception -> behaviour
Infact it's like economics.
If something happens then you have a thought about that which gives you a perception. This perception tells you how to behave.
Next step is to change the thought on an occurrence.
Is it a kind of crisis management?

It is a next step into the death zone.

Well another way to find some peace is buddhism or.....
watch this video...peace man

Deep thought

Years ago when I studied I said in a discussion among fellow students that there is no god. We are the gods.
To be short, finding the love of somebody is finding the real god.

Maybe one has learn to know the gods they're with. It takes time. It's an exchange of thoughts and values.
The value is like a generalised principle of behaviour to which the members of a group feel a strong commitment and which provides a standard for judging specific acts and goals.

For some people finding god is a life time work. Other people easily jump from one to the other. Their god is exchangeable. They just divorce.
But if you know someone more and more, everyone can be god
However it's hard to find the real one.
I already had my own god, my protector and guardian angel. I thought I knew.
As my god died a long time ago I lost confidence.

Most of the time god is a man of peace but sometimes Satan comes as a man of peace too. (Free after Bob Dylan). They don't exclude each other. It's a paradox.
That's why good and bad are so close.
Meaning that Satan can be god it's understandable that people divorce.

People fall in love with the wrong god maybe because they live on the edge. The thin line between good and bad might get even thinnner.
For two gods on top of the pyramid might be not enough space. Lack of possibilities for self actualization might cause interferences between them. This interference gives problems in their love. One will end as the bad god.

The top of Maslow hierarchy of needs, self actualization, is not easy to reach that. It's finding a balance between your inner self and the environment.

It's a funny act when god asks how to love him if you don't know him.
True, I don't know god.
Also true, I like to know this god.
Yes, I can say I believe.
And yes, god knows me a little bit because I'm sure he reads my blog.

Maslow pyramid and all about the lady

Watching the semi final yesterday I switched to another program in the break.

Some people talked about the Maslow hierarchy of needs (Maslow pyramid). It seemed to be a program for people in their thirties, the begin of the X-generation.

They have everything but don't feel themselves happy. Something is missing. They are in the top of the pyramid.
It can be dangerous there. Know that it's lonely at the top. And if your young it can be very lonely. Not because you don't have friends, that need is satisfied in one of the lower parts of the pyramid.
People are in search of themselves, the authenticity of their life. Is it worth to live it like they do.

A colleague of me said she has problems with self-actualization, that it's difficult to live on that edge.
Living on the top is like living on the edge of something you can fall off I understand.

She thinks of quiting her job and start all over again. Starting from ground zero, to reinvent herself.
My opinion, to be specific, take a year to travel around the world, buy a world ticket and see all you wanna see. Problem is that according to the Maslow theory you face the same problem after that year unless you use the new experiences.

I think that's not the only way. If you visualize a pyramid and on top of it you mirror the pyramid then you get at the top a wider range of opportunities.
What those opportunities are depends on yourself because you decide what direction you go. Take it or leave it.

It's like the Council I'm in at the moment. It widens my view, I learn something and enjoy the view on the rooftop. ;) Sometimes I can't stand heights.

It's like the universe. Go through a black hole and a different reality appears on the other side. With complete new possibilities.