Saturday, December 31, 2005

In advance

Yesterday evening we had a little snowstorm.

The last day of 2005, I'm almost ready for the it.
Still a little ill but with a bottle of champagne I'll travel 150 k north. My neighbor downstairs will take care of the house cause the last days there is a lot of destruction by fire-works here in our neighborhood. Our postboxes downstairs were demolished once.

Well, everyone enjoy the celebration, the fire-works and whatever. I wish you a prosperous 2006.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Poor DJ's



3 DJ's 6 days in a house of glass. That means monkeys looking at monkeys for saving kids in Congo. They gained 2.2 billion Euro for them.
Last year they did the same for Sudan. The world has almost forgotten the despair and poverty there.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

working all day

I can't complain... just a little ill, a headache, a throat that hurts and a lot of work to do.
After work I'm still working. Thinking and reinvesting.. It's not only the property stocks of Corio but also a large amount of property-stocks investing for 50% in the United States. I've heard that property over there is like a bubble waiting to burst.
It's time to take your gains...
I'm tired and fed up sitting all day behind my screen.

Okay I wish you all wonderful holidays and already a happy New Year (for the non-frequent readers ;-))

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Pamuk in Turkey

It's true that the well known Turkish writer Pamuk stands trial because he said something what isn't allowed in Turkey to talk about.
It's a fact that Turkey mass murdered thousands innocent Armenians and Kurds in the early 20th century. I refer to Wikipedia to read about Pamuk's statements and his prosecution.

Freedom of speech is one of the needs of a human being.

Without that Turkey will never be part of the European Union. At least it will be a long way.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sunday, December 11, 2005

ignorance

The last couple of days I have a feeling that there is a lot of ignorance with people, even myself, concerning been in a coma, having a contusio cerebri.

Contusio Cerebri is the scientific name for contusion of the brain, a traumatic brain injury

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

yesterday's blog

Instead of yesterday's blog I'm on time now. Let's keep it that way.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

blogging

Blogging everyday takes a lot of time....(especially in a foreign language, sometimes you really got to look for words, use a dictionary or phrase a sentence different)
I'm blogging daily the last month and that takes it's toll.
If I weren't blogging then I would spend my time on other things, much more photography (fotothing) and the stock exchange. I got to think about reinvesting € 13,000 from a property fund into something else.

Blogging, it's a kind of addiction. But maybe not everyday.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Work

The advantage of waking up a little earlier than expected is that one can start earlier at work, or having more time to get awake at home.
I divided the 3 quarters I was awake before the buzzer over the 2 parts.
I made myself a plate with a warm porridge and knäckerbröd, saw the breakfastnews and went to work.
It was silent there at arrival. 2 Colleagues sat there in the dark and told that the system was malfunctioning. Walking to my bureau I saw other colleagues sitting in the light and working. Though the system was out they could do other rthing on the computer and the had non system work.
I started up my computer and thought about week, also a Monday, when the system was down. If you know how much serious problems the system gives then, I thought at work, at what moment is it neccessary to update the system. The previous system was updated several times and lived it's own life. I can imagine that this present system goes it's own way if the don't control it. But this is a side-line.
Today the system was back online after 20 minutes. (exactly my extra time) Today was the first day that I damned the system. The vulnerabilty and the slowness of it are the 2 points of reconsideration if it is a perfect system for us.

The answer is that this isn't. Of course I would almost say. GWS4All is sacked.
But the supplier, Centric, doen't hear me I think. And if they read this post they won't do anything with the complaint (that's why Centric is mentioned, cause Centric sucks. Yes this is true.).

Sunday, November 27, 2005

bike

It's a long way to the snow. Before you reach it you are cold and frozen, if you go on a bike.
After the fog cleared I took my bike and rode some kilometers to some snow, barely anything. I had to go further east.
At least I made a few stills in the forest.





Saturday, November 26, 2005

Timewatch

Saw a documentary on television on the BBC tonight, called Inside the mind of a killer. It's a docu. about Hitler and what went on in his head before and during World war II. I won't bother you with the analyses made on him after 1943. (Nobody made a thorough psycho-analysis until that year)
After yesterday's log title, this situation can happen and will happen again. The most recent alike situation is the Serb Milosevic. Ethnic clinching; deportation, execution, mass-graves, that's Milosevic & Mladic inc.
It is silent in the process around the first one.
Also it is deadly silent in the case of Serbia handing over Mladic to The Hague-tribunal. That is really such a shortcoming of a country which wants to join the EU.

Friday, November 25, 2005

If something can happen it will.

Last night and in the morning we had the first severe storm of the season.
A woman was so clever yo park her bike close to the building. The front tyre was bent






Well in the afternoon the depression changed into a nasty one. In the eye of it was a cloudless sky but 100 kilometer south was snow. A constant flow of clouds with snow made traffic come to a halt. In the east of the country fell 15 centimeters of fresh snow. Trains and cars stranded and people had to wait for hours in their car for help. They got blankets to stay warm. One endless stream of cars, 70 kilometers in the east. Some accidents and immediately 20 k traffic-jam behind my house.
Teletext says that 700 kilometer, the radio mentioned 800 kilometer.
On a certain moment there was a single traffic-jam of 90 k in the south.
This is a damned traffic attack I spoke about, bad for the economy, environment and bad for health of people.

It's a complete chaos on the road and on the Veluwe (a forestry area in the middle of Holland) people are still waiting in their car.
Always thought that those situations won't happen here. The truth is it's happening.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

storm

Tonight and tomorrow there will be a storm, lots of rain (for our standards) and after that we're in a cold winter depression. Temperatures will drop to zero degrees C. and there will be snow. Hello world, I don't know if I should call it real autumn or the start of winter, knowing that in many parts of the world (even in the middle of Europe) the winter has started.

This afternoon we had a high tea at work. Al the colleagues who had a birthday in the past quarter had something with him so all kinds of delicacies were placed on a table. The setting made it cosy. Outside the wind and the rain made it nasty there and inside it was warm and cosy. We should be lucky with such a bunch of colleagues.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Butterfly effect

One move of a butterfly in Florida to fly away could cause a giant storm in Europe. subsequently business stop for a moment, the damage afterwards causes a financial disaster which infects the bourses in Europe. -What-if-, a chaos theory, the butterfly-theory.

Also a movie the butterfly effect exists, see IMDB. I wrote about that subject already inside my head.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

cars, machine power

The man at work who is going to make the access-application work... (the initial version doesn't work according to planning & control) has a car which goes fast. Real fast. Last week he had a professional in his car to learn him to make emergency stops. First it wasn't difficult. Stopping at 80 k/hr on a narrow road. The car has an anti-blocking system (abs)so that's not too difficult. After that they went to Germany were they got no speedlimits. His car tipped the 260 k/hr!!! Okay, said the pro, and now an emergency stop.
It seems that one has to pass a treshold and after that it's not difficult.
But 260, what a machine-power!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Amazing, human machines

What is amazing, astonishing? Who knows a little about speedskating and the developments in it should know it.
Last weekend there were time trials in the Olympic Oval in Salt Lake City. The results were good, amazing how many PR's the sporters skated and in 3 days 5 new Worldrecords were set. When I woke up in morning I was flabbergasted. The last set Worldrecord was the 500 meters, Shani Davis skated 15/100 seconds faster. Or a Dutch guy of only 19, who set the 5000 meter Worldrecord 90/100 seconds sharper. Amazing and what a power, human machines.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Freedom

There are more freedoms. Think about the Roosevelt four freedoms award.
Freedom of speech and expression, freedom of worship, freedom from want and freedom from fear.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Freedom of expression

If someone say that Bush is responsible for more than thousand dead US-soldiers than that is a fact with which people will do nothing. Bush will not react on that accusation and the world keeps on turning.
If someone says on a pamphlet that Rita Verdonk, Dutch minister, is responsible for 11 deaths in a prison people say, "yeah, that happens everywhere" and they turn back to normal life.
But not Rita Verdonk, she will react on that accusation and subsequently says she responsible.
This is not on CNN.
The death of a sparrow, shot in a hall to prevent a show to fail. That was on CNN.

Friday, November 18, 2005

Freedom of speech

In a democracy every person has the right to state a message. It can not be that if the message is against the Minister in power dealing with political refugees, economical refugees, illegal foreigners, that minister forbids the message and forces the protesters to recall the huge pamphlet's on mainly sqauts.
See for yourself on this link

She, Rita, tries it with legal action, that's true. Though, if a Minister can't stand criticism, what kind of arrogant Government we got then in the Hague?

The first picture on the link shows the jail on fire with imprisoned illegals inside the gates. It's almost a concentration camp. Shocking but reality. Translated the text means: "travel agency Rita, for arrests, deportation and cremation. Adequacy until the bitter end." It is shocking.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

democracy

A lot of work to do... the year's closing and the books are made up. Next year will probably a broken year cause the policy will be changed from July 1. Politicians can overrule this decision by the Cabinet and may be there is a majority against the plan. Problem will be that those politicians will often choose for the party line. If so then the majority will do what they don't want. Isn't that strange?

The same sort of democracy was seen in companies. In the 90's take-overs and mergers were happened almost daily and often large shareholders and small ones were against the plans of the management.
But today the take-over of IMS health by VNU business publishers was cancelled by a broad coalition of large shareholders like Fidelity. For the first time a Dutch company was weren't allowed by it's shareholders to do what it wants. That's called democracy.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

early present

The Saints were good to me. I got a creative zen MP3 nanoplayer with FM radio.
Good for running, cycling and the holiday on my bike.


This is it. The earphones I didn't like to much. My old Sony-phones are better.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

This is what I don't want to talk about

I was slow this morning, 15 minutes later than normal I arrived at work though I stood up 10 minutes earlier.
That was the tone which could be heard the whole day.
A whole corner with colleagues were late and when the last arriving colleague said "hé you all are early", they admitted later that they arrived late too. It must be the weather because we all individually decided to turn around one more time.
I mention the weather because it was nasty outside, it drizzled and was cold.
No wonder that the highways had traffic-jams. Many people took their car which they do seldomly and that at the same moment. But luckily the jams were only a third of the worst length we once had.
In fact the term traffic jam is really very wide. What is a jam? Is it a constant riding stream of cars at 20 k/hr?
Does the jam have to come to a complete standstill at some places to define the flow of cars as a traffic jam?
What is the definition of a traffic jam? Here it's almost synonym to everything comes to a halt and the air condition is a nightmare. It means going home early and being home late. Making plans is impossible, people can't rest and get stressed with all negative symptoms.
The Netherlands got to do something about their jam & traffic congestion problems very urgently.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Monday.

The day after the weekend is often a difficult day. After a weekend cycling and doing the other things which have to be done, I always have to do the dishes of a weekend on the Sunday night just before going to bed. It's so insane. It took me 1 1/2 hour to do the job.
At work I heard something about the quarterly celebration of the birthdays on November 24. It seems that also some former colleagues are invited. I'm curious how they're doing.

In the evening the sun set and this is what I saw

Sunday, November 13, 2005

1

Sports keeps a person healthy. Not only fysically but also mentally. A physiotherapist has started clinics for people with mental problems to overcome those problems with sports. He's working together with a psychotherapist.
What an idea. I knew it when I started running before my first marathon. It makes your mind empty and I could solve mathematical problems easily.
Not with cycling, it all goes faster, it's not a natural movement of your body and the position of your body is not comfortable, but you get used to it.

Yesterday the Volvo Ocean Race has left Vigo in Spain and is heading for Capetown, South Africa. That must be fysically as well mentally a hard job to do. I wonder if the boats will make it round the world, it still has some magic. I'm going to follow it on Sunday's on television and via the internet.
The internet is very helpful in these circumstances. I love the way internet can be used to get the data needed immediately.
In fact I was a data freak, maybe I'm still one.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

The deprived society

Seeing an am-broadcast on television about Muslim culture and Christian-Jewish-Humanistic culture I thought about the Muslim culture, knowing that there are many forms, I realized that some traditional Muslims still haven't seen the light of the renaissance. The renaissance of the 1700's-1800's and the one after WW II in one way or another.

There are universal values, aren't there? The major important one is to live and let live. I think that all cultures have that value. There are some branches in cultures without this moral thought. Nazism is one of the most important evil thoughts. Different cultures have different ways of expressing this evil and now it seems that Al Qa'ida tries to spread the bad message of destruction. I think that these thoughts should be wiped out as well.

Okay there are universal values what the large majority of humans accept as standards of life.
The value that one should make love not war was in the seventies an one liner. Every one was against the Vietnam war. America has a war to win in Iraq and many Italians, Spaniards, French, Germans and so on don't accept that attitude of big brother USA.
We've seen demo's of men in the street who are against these hostilities, any hostility. But they were attacked in Madrid and London. Why is in the Islamic world no demo to say no against terrorists.

I'm sure that also the Muslim society is diverted into several wings of believes, with a mainstream and some branches. Why does nobody stand up and speak out that they are not part of this and don't want to be identified with this violence. I want to see mass demo's of 500,000 men, women and children in the streets of Baghdad saying no to car bombs and suicide-killers with their car bombs.

But I hear none of that all. I ask myself if Muslims don't think on their own or do they need a strong leader, a kind of dictatorship? I hope and I know that there are spirits, enlightened minds with whom we share this world we live on who do think brilliantly, geniusly. Why can't they get this train on the track?
A train of peace in the Muslim world and a peace train in the Christian-Jewish-Humanistic world. This should be wonderful

It all starts with the upbringing and teaching of our children. The Taliban in Afghanistan starting a scholarship, they knew it.
So to get a world free of violence, terrorists will be a long way.
But to conclude this post this I found on Jomoud's fotothing, and that summarizes quite a lot of what it's all about.

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive
If a child lives with pity, he learns to feel sorry for himself
If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns what envy is
If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty
If a child lives with encouragement, he learns to be confident
If a child lives with praise, he learns to be appreciative
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself
If a child lives with recognition, he learns that it is good to have a goal
If a child lives with sharing, he learns about generosity
If a child lives with honesty and fairness, he learns what trust and justice are
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself and those about him
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live

Friday, November 11, 2005

Morning..

In the morning we talked about the impressive yesterday's funeral. Some people were still a little shocked and others didn't come to work. Yeah it was really an atmosphere of the day after. The friend of our colleague came by to pick up the wheelchair. It stood there behind her desk, she seldom used it.
He had a coffee and told us that he wants to know everything about his girl. It appears that her life at home was a little different. She stayed mostly home and fond of knitting, sewing and those kinds of handwork. She made long days and stayed up until 2.30 am to get up a 6 to be at work at 7 am.
She loved Crete, Greece. A part of the ashes will be brought to Crete were she also got friends. Her friend told us that in August they're going to bring half of her ashes to Crete and we're all invited by then.

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Cemetery

My colleague has been buried today. Actually she's been crematated.
Our almost complete department was there. Some words were said and a couple of songs were played, I heard Gun's & Roses and Led Zeppelin. A colleague said it was hard-rock, she visited hundreds of concerts like those.
I don't call that hard rock, it's middle of the road music. Probably some minds don't agree with that.
Our secretary bought enough white roses for everyone of us to lay on the coffin at the end of the ceremony. It was good to be at the funeral allthough I was only one of the hundreds.
Well, it's a little sad but our colleage was not even buried and her succeeder was introduced to us yesterday. It was all in the pipeline and she only starts in January.
The head of our division attended the ceremony too. Even the head of the section under which our division falls was there. I think that's a great step, especially if you know that she is the new head and doesn't know my fallen colleague at all.
You can't say that of all colleagues who didn't attend the ceremony. They skipped the funeral. And those colleagues call themselves Christian.

Well I remember the words of the family spokeman who said "Why is such a fine woman threated so badly in life. It started whith Children's rheumatic pains. She fought it, accepted the pills and overcame it. Now her life ended with this cancer. This is really a Goddamned life."


Maybe I can do something with these quotes:

Own the best of breed; don't own too many stocks
Don't buy all at once; arrogance is a sin
Cash and sitting on the sidelines are fine alternatives
Never subsidize losers with winners
When high-level people quit a company, something is wrong
Look for broken stocks, not broken companies
Bulls and bears make money; pigs gets slaughtered

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Last Goodbye

Today was the last goodbye from my colleague.
I found it emotional to show my sympathy with her 18 years old daughter. She's not ready for this loss.
10 colleagues saw her for the last time. It wasn't her. She lied in the coffin like a doll. Her face powdered to make her look better. Possibly she had pain when she died and through that mask of powder you still could see the pain.

We all were there when the coffin was closed. That was an impressive moment. Her daughter at the right hand comforted by her friend and my colleague her friend on the other side.
The moments of emotion of the daughter when she layed a doll in her mothers hands and the last view at her face. We all stood there and watched. That was impressive.

After the last goodbye 4 of us had a drink in town. Just like Picasso's famous last words drink to me, drink to my health. We all know that she can't drink anymore. Tomorrow will be the funeral.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

funeral

At work things went smoothly. There was almost no payment to book so I could take cake of the control of maintenance-costs of a supplier.
Some mistakes were made in the past so that we paid too much for years. I'm glad that's solved. But I only had 15 percent of the work and it took me a day and a headache, or maybe it's just that I'm tired.

My co worker only slept for 3 hours last night. He said he couldn't let our passed colleague out of his mind.
Tonight no more coffee and I'll go to bed a bed early.
Tomorrow I have a busy day if I go to the last goodbye, to sympathize with her family. Thursday will be the funeral. Quite a lot of colleagues will be there.

Sunday my mother called me and asked how my colleague was doing. I told her that she was doing okay concerned her being, not knowing that she passed away early that morning.
I spoke my mother again late on yesterday evening about the dead of my colleague. Yeah, on those moment it's good to have a mother who understands it all.

Monday, November 07, 2005

my colleague died

Last Friday 2 colleagues of mine and our boss visited our sick colleague.
It appeared to be the last visit to her. She died in her sleep due to a brain stroke.

Everybody was moved hearing the news when arriving at work.
There were no signs that she would die in her sleep on a Saturdaynight.
Friday evening she would have some fysio and after that go to a birthday-party for one hour.

I feel sorry for her, her daughter, other relatives and friends. But we all lost a magnificient woman.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

shadow



In the banlieux in France, there is unrest under the population of youngsters. They aren't socially accepted though fully integrated.
They give their hate and zero tolerance a voice by setting cars, buses, schools on fire. This is in their own neighborhood. Why do they do that?
It's not aimed at the Government and companies which have a large part in neglecting of the youngsters. When I cycled through France I saw no difference between Holland and France. Girls with other roots than the French work in shops, their brothers don't. Maybe Female are accepted better because they are not a threat?
Spoken about threats when I walked through the no go area Kanalen-eiland my shadow certainly isn't, though it was ready to shoot.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

black widow

Since last week 11 prisoners died in a fire, the responsible Minister could be named the Black Widow

Last week a hole was found in the window of the room of the Minister.
It seemed to be a bullet hole. Even the Minister President said it and He and His Diciples drew their conclusions. This was an attack again on democracy.
This again is so unfair. The case wasn't investigated at all.
The news papers pointed at the building on the other side of the street, the black Madonna.
Well can anybody imagine that the black Madonna shot the Black Widow?
Investigations pointed out there was no gunfire at all.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Poor country

In Holland a Minister is in power who sends back all foreigners without legal status. The illegal persons are sent back to the country where they were before they entered Holland. It's very simple. If you entered Holland via Belgium the aliens registration office will bring you to Roosendaal train station were you can take the train to Belgium. You are simply not wanted here.
But you got a chance to flee authority and stay on an illegal status in the Netherlands. Very dangerous. Women often end up in prostitution and men become often criminals or do the hard work for a pay for which the Dutch can't and won't work.
But if you come from Nigeria or Bulgaria by plane, the registration office puts you in a security hostel, no a prison near airport Schiphol.
Last week there was a big fire which set a whole branch aflame. 11 Persons died.
The same Minister who is responsible for this solely talks about the fact that her staff at the prison dealt adequatly with the situation for what she knows at that moment. Not a single word was mentioned about the deathtoll. Her staff had an emotional blow not a word about the other victims.

Now that it became clear that there has been fired at her office this week, I think she has had a blow too. Fact after fact is building a pile concerning the alien registration, foreigners and other strangers who shouldn't be in this poor country.
Because if you can't take care of guests you might be that.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

no news part 2 1/2

Another settlement in criminal Amsterdam. Even the minister of Home Affairs has made a statement that the 2 liquidations on the street are worth it to investigate similarities in the past!!
As if police hasn't done that already.
And another interesting football game. This time FC Heerenveen against CSK Moscou.
It's an interesting game because the latter is the winner of the last Uefa-Cup.
The result of the match : 0-0

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

news and football

Of course there is no news from Holland.
Putin has been here. The train with 2 Muslim men in it was a false alarm.
The Dutch queen has made Putin compliments for discreet dealing with the complex situation in Russia.
The whole day was a tribute to Theo van Gogh. The media talked about his murder and the aftermath. But what has changed. Do we feel more unsafe than a year ago? Is it because there are a lot foreigners? Huh, really? Abroad are many foreigners!

Yesterday PSV Eindhoven defeated Milan AC in the (football) champions league.
The final result was 1-0. This makes the chances for them to reach the second round larger.
For Ajax Amsterdam, who plays now it's much easier. They play against the Swiss FC Thun and lead at the moment with 2 goals against 1.
Update: after a 2-2. Ajax Amsterdam won the match with 4 goals against 2

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

No news

Just 11 illegals burned in a prison and a minister stubbornly saying that the security acted adequately. There is so much wrong in this country and this cabinet (or Government if you like) only sees the problems caused by other cabinets.
And now Putin is in this country. Immediately a train with 2 Muslims was stopped near Central Station, close to the Dam and the place were Putin will spend the night. The two men were arrested.

Monday, October 31, 2005

A new day

The first day of the week. Not a good one I think, however I was sharp at a meeting. It was about a complexity of things related to my work. There is going to be a change in the flow of data. The procedures need to be changed and external contacts have to be informed.
I'm just the slave to do the proces right so for me it's important that the data I need come to me in the most adequat way. I'm just kidding.

My sick colleague has been at home over the weekend and she stays well. She can eat and regains strength, just as I hoped. Now she should get rid of the urine-infection and other minor problems which occur having chemo.
Hopeful is that the strong chemo she's had didn't affect her like the ones she had before. It put a smile on our faces at work when we heard that.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

Discrimination

What a day... summertime has ended last night and still we got temperatures above 20 degrees C. This is a record-warmth. Thanks to Wilma, a depression which crossed the Atlantic and gives west continental Europe a southern wind. So we got the warmth from France, Spain even Morocco.
This week I cycled about 170 k, the 88 k of today included. After cycling I had a beer which didn't taste.
It's almost 2 hours later and I feel a little headache.

The day after tomorrow it's one year ago that Theo van Gogh has been murdered.
Since then much has happened. People have been arrested for terroristic reasons and there has been a terror alarm, places have been secured and after the London assaults trains are evacuated because of a bag or case left in the compartment.
This is ridiculous if you think about it. We all know that if ordinary people or soft targets are attacked, terrorists will face real opposition of ordinary people. Maybe the first cells which will oppose the terrorists are already there.
If that's true then a civil war might be next.
Today I read something about an inquiry of the The University of Amsterdam into the role of newspapers before and after the murder. It seems that the papers wanted to create understanding for the position of strangers. With strangers I mean people born in or with parents born in another country, usually Maghreb.
For them we got a widely accepted word which cannot be translated into English. We Dutch should be ashamed of that because we discriminate in our language.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

How could I've missed a day?

Yesterday, a terrific working day. One of those days with laughter.
Our colleague went home after being in hospital for some many days.
Now it hopefully goes well with her being at home.
After work I had still energy to cycle for almost 2 hours or 56 kilometer.
Well I didn't have time to write something for my blog.

Tomorrow I'll ride with team Ledig Erf So I'll probably 6 to 7 hours on my bike. Ha, Armstrong rides 6 hours a day! Well I'm not Armstrong, not a pro and I probably don't have the qualities he's got.

He has had cancer, very bad, but he survived and between all survivors there is there is one similarity, they survived.
I wonder if you reader can compare yourself with a survivor.
If you do, please write a comment on that.

this was at 7.30 pm today







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43. Russia 3 0.1 %
44. Dominican Republic 2 0.1 %
45. Taiwan 2 0.1 %
46. Chile 2 0.1 %
47. Korea 2 0.1 %
48. Colombia 2 0.1 %
49. Indonesia 1 0.0 %
50. Morocco 1 0.0 %
51. Slovenia 1 0.0 %
52. Botswana 1 0.0 %
53. Algeria 1 0.0 %
54. Malta 1 0.0 %
55. Vietnam 1 0.0 %
56. Ukraine 1 0.0 %
57. Cocos (Keeling) Islands 1 0.0 %
58. Uruguay 1 0.0 %
59. Puerto Rico 1 0.0 %
60. Suriname 1 0.0 %
61. Estonia 1 0.0 %
62. Iceland 1 0.0 %
63. Slovakia 1 0.0 %
64. Egypt 1 0.0 %
65. Macedonia 1 0.0 %
66. Luxembourg 1 0.0 %
67. Kyrgyzstan 1 0.0 %
68. Jordan 1 0.0 %
69. Bahrain 1 0.0 %
70. Bosnia and Herzegovina 1 0.0 %
71. Kuwait 1 0.0 %

Thursday, October 27, 2005

It's a beautiful day

What a wonderful day... The birds were singing and almost everyone had a good mood.... No wonder the sun was shining and a southern wind brought high temperatures to us.
This afternoon my co worker and I visited our sick colleague in the hospital. Well, she just had a chemo in her head and it was a heavier one than last times.
Proudly she told us that this one had to be imported from France. Overnight it came to Holland, to the hospital. My colleague will be monitored closely the next 24 hours and if she has no complications with this cure than she can be home tomorrow.

I asked her if she will go to the football club and she told us that she will try to arrange a place for her in the stadium. Plans enough and that if you know what the doctors said to her. It's amazing how people can cling to life and need the support of visitors.
My colleague lies in a room of ca. 16 square meters with one other female. I really feel ashamed now thinking about it.
They got hardly any privacy and if one throws up or has a bad night/day with constipation or diarrhea then it must be horrible out there. That's no place to live and to get stronger.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Strucken

It was a lovely day in fact, the sky was blue, the temperature was about 17 degrees and after work there was still a moment to feel the warmth of the sun.
Saturday it's winter-time again. On one hand I like that too, but on the other hand give me the long summer days. Cycling after work is more difficult now. The sun sets 20 minutes past 6 pm. Next week it sets 1 hour and 15 minutes earlier.
There is no time left to cycle. Only weekends and spare days are good enough to cycle.

Tonight we had a money-collecting night for the victims of the earthquake in Pakistan & India. I think the initiative is okay and donated some.
Spoken about India, I saw on Discovery a report about big cities and their way to deal with space-problems. In Mumbai experts develop the air-bus. Something Stuttgart (Germany) and possibly Berlin have too. The Mumbai experience is somewhat more advanced. This shows that India is not a developing country at all. In a way India doesn't need the initiative. Though the Indians and Pakistani need it more cause their Governments are too irresponsible (they got the war there in the disaster strucken area).

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Questions and onions

Sunday my sick colleague went home but she didn't have a good day. Too much problems with her stomach and other minor problems made it a bad day. She spend most of the day on the toilet.
Our department really questions it's own role in the way our colleague could go home. She wants it, but there is no consensus among her close relatives and friends who should take care of her.
If she stays in the hospital it would be for close relatives much more easy and they would have a moment of rest. When they get home after school and work it is not a stressy situation at once.

When my mothers partner died 10 years ago the last months of his being was stressful for my brother and mother. They were the ones who were home at that time. My mother couldn't work and my brother couldn't continue university. It was on their shoulders mainly. That's hard to bear. So being hospitalized was a better solution at that time. But in that case he undoubtedly would have died in hospital and that's a depriving surrounding. My conclusion, the last days, weeks would be better at home.
For the ones who stay behind it could be better to get over the loss.

When I came home from the grocery my (lower) downstairs neighbor came in too.
we talked about living in these apartments, the state of the buildings, the bad situation of the kitchen (very old and a dangerous heating system, Coal-monoxide).
It's funny that we had the same thoughts about those things and nobody does something.
Conclusion was that this house is old and bad maintenance would make it not worth buying it. Walking home I saw a few houses on other blocks for sale and I thought about the reasons to buy elsewhere.
Well, I need an onion to digest everything said.

Monday, October 24, 2005

matters

It's time that matters.

Among the birds it's the flu which needs time to become epidemic.

In a survey among American workers Shell oil company it became clear that early pensioned workers didn't live longer than their colleagues who worked till 65 years.

My colleague is back in hospital after a day at home. For her time is essential.
Thursday another colleague and I are going to visit her too.

The photography of yesterday is on fotothing

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Photo update

Let's make give an impression how my day was.

8.30 am awake
9.15 getting something to eat
10.00 read the news(among the papernews also other sources)
10.30 get myself a cup of coffee
11.00 read some email
12.00 going to cycle
14.30 back home
15.00 listen to sports on the radio
16.00 walk to a park for some pictures of mushroom
17.00 get my bicycle to make other pictures
19.15 upload my pictures and write this post

at 22.30 (gmt+2) some will be uploaded to fotothing




Saturday, October 22, 2005

In the wild


It's getting colder. When you get up and go to the bathroom and kitchen it's shivering cold. It's time for a bath-robe, I bought one.

This weekend will be a wet one. Though I think I'm gonna cycle. First I got to go to the cycle shop to buy the 3 quarter legging. Got to ride 100 k I think.
I think if I catch one or more of those freezing showers I'll catch a cold by Monday.
Maybe 100 k is not reasonable. Half of the distance will do it too. So Sunday I won't be able to ride up with the Ledig Erf riders.

I have to make a few choices, one for the political party of which I'm member.
Out of 4 candidates members can choose the chairman. I thought that I knew it.
Michiel van Hulten would be my choice, because I read a book of him about transparency. The content was good, he has been member of the EU parliament, with 36 years he's relatively young and has ideas.

Then I saw a publicity photograph of him wearing such a statement white bangle.
I looked up the meaning of this statement.
For the American teenagers it is used to express that they do not believe in sex before marriage. Hey hey hey, pretty Victorian.
In Great Britain, continental Europe and the rest of the world it's carved with make poverty history. Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Claudia Schiffer most artists of Band Aid have worn the white bracelet.
I don't believe in those bangles (didn't Armstrong wear a yellow one, against cancer).

Okay, I'm going to the shops. See you.
Btw, last week was nice weather to make fall-pictures. But I didn't make them. Just a missed chance.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Bea's homecoming

The latest news about Bea is that Sunday she 's going home for a day. It's a try out. After that her house has to be adjusted (if she really goes). Going home is the best for her.
She wants it, it's her will. Her friend though is very frightened. He can't cope with the responsibility he didn't ask for, the stress if something goes wrong.
An insult or something like that. You call an ambulance. That is all you can do.
Normally people get stronger in such situations. But he doesn't even think about trying. It's like avoiding the risk you got in a relationship. If the other isn't doing well, bear the responsibility to take care even if it costs a salary.

Well, I worked alone this week on the financial branch. My co-worker has rented a house this mid-week. Commentary all over, why is he on a vacation while he's still sick? Well I have to say I can feel it now in my bones that it was a hard week.
This year there shouldn't be many more of these weeks.

This week I worked 2 hours more than scheduled. So if I work more over time I can have a day off too. I still got a week vacation left but I want to use it next year for a 4 weeks holiday in summer.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Bizarre

My colleague had a conversation with the hospital. She was told that without the surgery the hospital fore-casted just 2 more months to live. Now Bea could live up to 6 months. Problem is that she has to make a choice whether she should be taken care of in a hospice (when people are going to die and need much care they can be hospitalized in such a hospice), or in a nursing home. Home might be out of reach as the situation is like today, or what I described yesterday.

This news came to me as a sort of breaking news. Our chief called us to tell it in one time to us all. It struck me, but other colleagues too I think. One was suddenly ill. Okay, the flu is going around these days.

It's strange, 2 months ago Bea walked around at the office. She worked between her chemo therapies. Then after 2 weeks vacation in Greece she came back with a very hard -turtle-skin. She was hospitalized had new chemo therapy and then it went downhill quickly. And now they think about a hospice. This is awfully bizarre.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

fight

Yesterday's thought about my colleague seems to be much too prosperous.
She hardly moves, eats not much and loses weight. It is her mind still going strong, but her body seems to tear away.
The cancer in her body isn't being treated, so that can grow. The concentration is on the cancer cells in her head.
This might extend her life, but the quality is poor. I'm sad to say that from my point of view. But she is a fighter who will fight and fight and fight till the last round.

Today is the first day of autumn really, the temperatures are much lower and there has been rain at daylight!
It was fair weather when I came home, so I decided to go for a quick 1 hour ride just before dark.
That was refreshing and at 8.40 pm PSV Eindhoven (Holland) played Milan AC (Italy). It's a football game if you might not know. They made it on paper a boring 0-0 but I saw the match and it was not bad at all.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

colleague

Our sick colleague is still in the hospital, the military hospital. The part were she stayed will be renovated, so she has to move. Bea still wants to go home, but I can't hardly believe that's possible because many things have to be changed for the better, especially her health. She isn't capable to walk more than 10 metres and she lost power in her left hand. She needs care and in her house is no 24 hours care each day. Okay that can be arranged and certain adaptations too. But it is important for Bea to regain strength.

Monday, October 17, 2005

between sunrise and full moon


Did my work today when a colleague told me that we had a kind of meeting about the structure of our computer system. Because I'm the person who works with the present system of our supply of wheelchairs I should be there too. Well, the whole discussion was focused mainly on what should be improved in the working of the system. Not that I didn't have any comments on that, but I was there to say something about our wheelchairs, motorised or not.
It was none of that. It was a show of my colleague and she's about policy in my department.
So I thought about a newspaper's column about simulating submissiveness and social binding.

People give up their autonomy to enter a constitution. In that constitution one can enter into relations with other persons by simulating submissiveness. So people make mistakes deliberately to form a community.
The columnist gave examples of mistakes , of failure, policy makers who make mistakes on purpose with budgetary systems and privatisation to create a atmosphere of binding, politicians fail to bridge the gap between Government and citizens, administrative personnel make mistakes to create a cozy corner around the coffee machine (yes, Sarah Ackerman I said machine too).

Okay, if this social binding exists whats the matter with that, is it bad?
I don't think it's bad. It creates involvement with work and a bond with colleagues.
However, on an individual scale it's bad because few people work at their capability. In this constellation there are people with work which doesn't get the best out of them. That's a pity for the employer, but also a lost opportunity for society.

.......Yes it's full moon.......

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Yup

Yup, weekend is over, again the sun has set beautifully. I'm preparing myself for the next week. Do my laundry, cleaning the house (for the first time I cleaned behind the fridge).
I saw some sports on the tele. Marathon runner Haile Gebrsalassie was close to break the world-record. The last 7 kilometers he lost on the record scheme and finished in a personal best and course record. He certainly is one of the possible winner of Olympic gold on the Beijing marathon of 2008.

My football club lost of the new championship leader Feyenoord Rotterdam with 4-1. I heard it on the radio cleaning my kitchen, that hurts, especially when you know half time my club leaded in the match.

Saturday afternoon I saw a little of the last cycling tour of this year. It was Paolo Bettini who won in Italy. I think he became second overall.
After that I cycled in my only Italian shirt of Alessio.
This was the last weekend of the year with temperatures above the 18 degrees C.
My 85 year old neighbor said that it's time temps lower a bit. Understandable when you're at home the whole day with the sun shining on the windows constantly.
Now it seems that the whole world has high temps, my neighbor shouldn't complain.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Saturday


Saturday is the best day of the weekend I think. You'll have a fresh start if Friday night wasn't too fucked up and you end with a night which ends in a morning were nothing has to be done. Okay, that means for a single. For a couple it can be slightly different and when children are involved it is completely different.

So I just had the best day of the weekend.
And what do we do in Holland with that best day? Exactly, we spend it on work we have to do cause on Sundays we can't normally do that. It means shopping and fun shopping, going to town and pick a beer on a terrace covered with sunlight.

I went to town too to find a 3 quarter legging for cycling and probably found one.
On way to the city I passed some police officers and a resque team of the fire squad.
On way to and in the city I made some pictures like below.





Friday, October 14, 2005

At work

What a day we had. This was a real Friday. Considering the circumstances it was indeed. The greater part of the department was away (had a day off or was ill) and the people who were at the office went along with each other and made it an atmosphere in which it is nice to work.
We have the singing colleague, the poeting one, the colleague with the dry humor, the one with all the jokes and the others who are mixed up doing well together.

The hospitalized colleague is doing okay right now. She is hoping to go home.
then ze needs a stair-elevator, another toilet, a shower and so on. She is a little disabled right now and she doesn't want to depend on others for example when she has to go to the toilet. Almost nobody likes it to be a needy person.
Maybe the office can do something for her because we have the contacts with constructors for building adaptations.
So a colleague called a constructor and pointed out the situation and asked him to come with a challenging proposition.

By the way, has anybody seen Das Boot. A German made movie about a U-boat and it's crew in World war II. The characters were strong the shooting was great and the story was okay.


Fotolog is improving itself. Look how Grimp portraits his locals

Thursday, October 13, 2005

A few photo's

As the bird flu type H5N1 has reached Turkey. Measures are taken to prevent spreading the flu. Keep the birds inside, travelers must prevent contact with wild bird life. LOL, if it spreads from rural areas too more populated Europe then it's a disaster. So from my point of view this risk analysis is weak. To say it mildly.




Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Positive frustration


yesterday's sunset

Sometimes there are weeks of continuous fair weather. Everything is like the forecast. It's the weather you can depend on. It's un-Dutch. It's not common here that September and October just let summer fade away into a winter.

But how nice this is after not so marvelous summer. The hottest period of the Dutch summer was in my vacation. France had 36 degrees, Holland had 32. Temperatures though remained average the whole summer as wel as rainfall. That made it possible for me to keep on cycling without pauses of weeks.

Thinking about a short pause, today I trained a while (1 hour) on a low gear when I passed a biker at the end of the training. I cycled at an average of 37 k/hr. When I went down hill that person on a normal bike passed me saying "hey, it's good weather, isn't it?". So I followed him for a short while and then passed him again (replying "yes, but don't go to fast") with an average of 43 k/hr which I kept on cycling. When I looked over my shoulder after a while that man still cycled behind me. (okay, I said, congratulations). And he cycled away, and still cycles I think.

A colleague of mine told me that this morning he passed a biker on a racing bike and when he looked behind his back after a while the racer couldn't keep up. My colleague told me that that man must felt frustrated being passed by someone on a bike which is not a racing bike at all.
Well that's almost the same frustration I felt after being passed for the second time. The question is how to use this frustration positively.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tired pumpkin

I felt tired all day long. When I went to bed I read a little and I felt my bed was not comfortable. I didn't change the linen for a long time. When I awoke I showered and put on fresh clothes. But I felt sleepy all the time also at work.
When my colleague arrived, he came with a head like a pumpkin. He had an headache from here to Tokio. (imagine the distance and you know it) But he's tired since start of summer and works part-time since 2 or 3 months.
Maybe that affects me too because I got much more work to do.
Maybe it's the season. The flu is coming and the airconditioners spread the virus through the building.

The bird influenca has been spotted in Rumania an Turkey. It's very close to the heart of Europe and if that causes a pandemia I hope that Ab Österhaus has found a cure. Else I won't be able to work in the sick building.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Schoolyard mentality

Everyone knows how it goes at school when you got to form a team. Everyone wants to be in or have the best team to win the game or get the best position.
And if you are good then you will be chosen, while a year ago people didn't see you standing (some people did, that's true).
It is so unfair that people are rejected because other people think they don't have qualities needed.

But it's psychology, the game theory, Economy, it all the same. You can win the nobelprize for describing it.

Bea is doing well, concerned her situation. She hopes that she will be able to go home on short notice and come back to the hospital for the chemo in her head.
She is a little concerned about the next place where she will be placed. Her new room will be the Military hospital and she don't know whether is is a single room or a room with more people in it.
Tomorrow the start with a lighter version of the previous chemo. The frequency will be higher though. It is not okay that the cancer in other parts of her body won't be treated for now. It's just growing is my opinion.
The whole situation is very stressy for everybody involved.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

gap

Okay, a fantastic weekend full of cycling. Today in the time-trial I became 11th out of at least 35 cyclists.
This weekend almost didn't have time to think about problems in the world (earthquake), about my colleague (cancer, we hear about it tomorrow), about Ocean and her little boy (good luck son), joy about reaching the World-cup Football in Germany.
Weekend is a giant gap between 2 weeks

And Hnk stay cool, cause you got to travel a lot to understand the world.
Hey hey hey, it's time to go to bed.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

time


The individual time trial cycling was okay.
What a deception was the team time trial. In groups of 4 there was no line in what so ever. 1 could not follow at all. 1 Rider went too fast. And in the meantime we went as 2 groups over the track. Only in the third round of 2.4 k we united.
Tomorrow there is a 10 k on the program. I don't know what I did on that time-trial.

The weekend goes to fast now. I can hardly do the things I have to do. (my dishes are piled up, my bedroom hasn't being clean in weeks and so on)

Friday, October 07, 2005

Weekend,

this weekend will be one of cycling. It will start Saturday at noon, Sunday again at the same time. Yesterday I trained a short while on the track and it was okay; 17.7 k in 29 minutes + some extra kilometers which made a total of almost 40 k. Today I rode 51 k after work. It was almost dark when I got home at 18:45 pm
I didn't ride what I planned to ride, I think it was too far too.

Life goes on when a colleague is struggling to live. Her colleagues are having fun, maybe they think every now and then at her faith but nevertheless on a 10 minutes car ride there is a colleague suffering. Years passing by, saying goodmorning Bea and now you can't help her. It is and feels unheimisch, don't cha think?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Rays of light

Our chief of the department said we were doing okay dealing with the whole status of our colleague. It's almost the same as I told her the day before when 2 of my colleagues and I visited Bea.
In fact three of us at the same time is too much. Maybe that is what she said.
Okay today I did my work again and I realize that tomorrow is the last day of the week. It goes so quick. Do you know when we have really fun work? Then time flies in fact. The past years went like beam of light. What happened I fact in the last three years?: We saw Bea's diagnose with cancer, the bad situation with my family, my brother who will earn his master degree in International Business, my mother who successfully claimed her money from my father. And of course the bulls & the bears of the stock-market which are alive for me again.
There is always a ray of light in the universe on which people can cling to, I know by experience.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Bea's situation

I've been to the hospital where Bea is.
She's there for the second week now and has seen many faces.
Not only her colleagues but also friends, ex-colleagues, etcetera.
She looks not ill at all.
She only is bald and Bea has a platster on her head where the pump is for the liquid
to get the fluid out of her head.
Bea sleeps well at night, though she's to lay on her back.
Her eyes are more vivid that some previous visitors told and she doesn't jump from one subjet to another. She never did that.

But her situation gets worse day by day, even if it looks like she's getting better.
You can say I'm pessimistic, I am. I should be more optimistic, I wish I could.
Hopefully she can return home on short notice. That means her situation is more or less under control.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

patience


Everybody is waiting for something.
Many people wait and see for the new health-care system which will be active on January 1 2006. My department waits for the new legislation which repositions the health care. That will be in June 2006, it might be postponed till the end of 2006.
The health insurance will be more commercialised. Nowadays people with an income below a fixed income are insured publicly, the others must have a private health insurance.
This change and the new legislation will give too much tension for a sound implementation.

For my colleague in the hospital this is no problem. For her only counts if she will make it till next year. Today's visitors told that she became more realistic (also noticed yesterday).
Tomorrow I'll visit her. Maybe I can say some more.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Solar eclips

Anybody seen the solar eclipse of October 3?
My colleagues and I only saw a partial one. Around 10 someone reminded us of the eclipse.
The funny thing is that I was looking for my special designed eclipse sunglasses which I didn't find before I went to work, I almost forgot the moment supreme.
Without those glasses it was hard to get a glimpse. The next eclipse in Holland is in 2118 or so. If you missed it you got to wait a long time.
The first eclipse I saw I still remember. I wasn't older than 8 years when we had our first astronomy lesson, a practicum. With a couple of photo negatives we could see the sun bit by the moon.
Afterwards you could say that the teacher was irresponsible having at least 20 kids viewing the sun through negatives at the same time.

My colleague has had the operation I told about. It was Oct. 1 when she had a drain.
She is realistic now and takes precautions if it's getting worse.
She has done this operation to fight the cancer, to be with her family and to reach the age of 50.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Home

Home is the best place where one can be.
The best thing one can do if settling somewhere is getting used to the customs, feel welcome and feel at home.
For yesterday's telephoning guy he might feel at home in the cabin of the train. He had a loud conversation about labour rights. It was a one way oration of what the other side of the telephone line could do.
There where several persons in the train who didn't feel free. They all had to hear that conversation. I had my discman on and heard the vibrations of someone talking on a close range. I didn't hear exactly everything but when I put down the earphone it was clear to me. If you sing in public your song people could easily point at their forehead (lunatic or guts if you can sing). When you talk on the phone it's supposed to be normal..... (according to that guy it was apparently)
Where is our right to have a private space around us without too noisy phone calls.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

ON MY WAY BACK HOME


ON MY WAY HOME WITH A CAPUCHINNO, I'LL MAKE SOME PHOTO'S. THE RIDE BACK IS OKAY, HOWEVER I FEEL A BIT OUT OF REALITY. WENT LATE TO BED LAST NIGHT PLAYING THE GAME. NOW I'M IN THE TRAIN BACK HOME, HEARING A CONVERSATION I DON'T WANNA HEAR. A GUY SPEAKS MUCH TOO LOUD IN HIS CELL PHONE. I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
JAN



Desolated landscape, culture became nature again.

Saturday, just before noon, empty roads in the north.

Windmill and cashcow of a farmer near Staphorst. Staphorst is an orthodox christian community near Zwolle.

The Dutch standard Intercity trains

Crossing the IJssel after Zwolle

Friday, September 30, 2005

DELAY

SUBJECT TO A HUGE POWER DISTURBANCE MY LATE NIGHTTRAIN DOES NOT RIDE. I AM 2OO KILOMETERS FROM HOME. THIS IS NOT OKAY BECAUSE I WANTED TO CYCLE BUT MAYBE SUNDAY IS A FINE DAY TOO TO RIDE WITH THE REMAINING RIDERS. NOW I'M PLAYING COLONISTS OF CATAN. NEVER MIND IF YOU NEVER HEARD ABOUT IT.
FOR TONIGHT HOPEFULLY TRAINS RIDE ON TIME. WELL NOW IT'S TIME FOR REVANCHE. JAN

Thursday, September 29, 2005

She is optimistic....

Don't blame Bea being optimistic and having a fighting spirit.
Colleagues who have been to her said that she talks as much as in the old days. Still enjoying football, enjoying life.
My boss though mailed those who missed the verbal update that she could see tears in her eyes.
My hospitalized colleague wants as much visits as possible, why I don't know.... oh yes, I got a feeling but don't want to say it. I'm much too pessimistic and don't want to break her optimism.
Tomorrow her friend will visit the office...then the results of the photo's and scans will also be clearer I think.
This has to wait till Monday before I know it or I call the office for a brief update tomorrow.

It's a little bit sadness at the office.
A growing sadness, every week a little bigger

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Hospitalized

Today was D-day for Bea. A lot of scans were made and she corporated very well I heard. This is very important for her being. I think that tomorrow we will hear what the doctors think about an operation. It is said that a tiny plastic pump is placed inside the head which transfers the fluids from her head (around the brain) to the stomach.
The doctors think differently about the operation I understand. It might work but also then she has cancer all over the body and if that is not being stopped, the extra pain of a brain drain might not be worth it. I mean for people around her, for Bea this is a possibility to battle. And if she fights it she won't quit.

Her friend sees the hopelessness of her situation but will support Bea to the end in that ever decision she takes. Friday her friend will come to the office. I wonder what he has to say and how we can support him.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

D-day

My colleague with cancer isn't doing very well in my view. She has to face reality her doctors gave her.
a. If her doctors say no treatment is possible anymore she will die in a few months.
It means a choice for quality of life, said an ex-colleague who happened to be at the office.
b. If her doctor give her another chemo therapy it will be aimed at the head. If that therapy succeeds she could live another few years. This depends on a surgery of tomorrow whether the fluids in the head are not blocked. If that is the case the chemo can not continue. In that case it means point a.
The mayor view is that she will continue with point b. So tomorrow is D-day.

Monday, September 26, 2005

matters

The most important thing that matters today is the news about my colleague.
After we heard that Friday was a very bad day after being hospitalized, we were also told that her doctor told her and her friend that she might die.
Saturday though she felt wonderful in her hospital room. She had a spinal-drain to get rid of the fluids which cause a severe headache.
As we know the cancer in the fluid could be everywhere in her body the doctors are honest about her possibilities to survive. Her friend was told that she will die from cancer.
That is the news as we know it. We were told that if we want to visit her we could. 2 Of my department went to the hospital to visit her.

Also, yesterday my hits-counter registered 1 hit more from the US than the Netherlands. I think that the blogexplosion does a large part of the adding. I wonder if these readers are serious or if they want to read the page in 30 seconds minus loading time.
Photo's do help also to get more traffic. The bad thing is that Picassa nor the add-image icon works; But at last it works again

Grrrr

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Ride

This morning I decided to cycle with team Ledig Erf though the atmosphere is not as good as the nightingale team. It's simply because in the last 2 weeks I didn't ride very much. The distance is below the 100 kilometer.
To prevent my condition goes completely down I decided to ride with the C-group.
I had some problems with my distance counter and it made me to stop a few times.
The group didn't stop and that forced me to do my utmost to get back.
I can tell you that is exhausting. Luckily at the the start of climbing the last hill I was back.
Across the dike I kept my own pace and after Wijk bij Duurstede I saw the group riding away from me. More riders couldn't keep pace with the majority of about 10 men.
I conclude that this was a perfect race for me keeping in mind that on October 8 and 9 we got trials again. I got to build it up for that weekend.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

cancer

News from the cancer front at work...

My colleague Bea, about who I wrote several times now, has been hospitalized last Thursday. She had severe pains. It felt as if she was going to die she said after being hospitalized.
It is in fact not better, but her situation worsened, fluids in her head gave her headaches. Now these fluids have been drained and examined. It appears that cancer cell are in the fluid too.
I know nothing about it, only that it doesn't sound good.
The only good thing is that she is in hospital where skilled people take care of her. Her family can have some rest too.
At work someone stated that this is palliative care taking. I don't think so...but this cancer is spread rapidly through the body.

I hope I could say something positive about Bea's situation.
Something like what she said after the day-trip at Sept. 1, I'll be back

Friday, September 23, 2005

time isn't our friend

As time passes by all gets less strong. Also Rita, she's only got 12 hours to make landfall, gets weaker. That's good for the world economy, that's good for humanity, because if Rita will be a class 4 or 5 hurricane there will be a lot of direct casualties, but indirect too. As Rita goes over the area involved it will leave a terrible mess. The oil industry will possibly collapse and oil prices will rise sky high. There will be a rise of the internal inflation (goods will get more expensive) and the world will import that inflation in America.
This causes other problems, so we can say that even without bin laden (no capitals) there might be a serious world crisis.

Spoken about bin laden, this crisis might give him and his allies an opportunity to infiltrate in our world more easily because budget for secret services might be frozen.
Less attention will be paid to those elements in our society simply because Secret Services don't have the means to do so. I could be possible that the extremist side is growing faster than the means of the Secret Services, Police and legislature. That would be a bad thing for our world of today.
However I read that in Europe a lot of terroristic attacks were prevented.
It was even before 2001 that attacks were anticipated. But then why was the whole fundamentalistic Islam not determined before as tres dangereaux. Saudi Arabia is such a country, dangerous and supported by the US. It could be a second Iraq.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Lovely Rita?

At least America learned something from Katherina now Rita has landfall in 30 hours.
Just a moment ago I heard a dutch woman with a baby 80 miles inland from Houston.
She couldn't decide whether to go or stay at home. Traffic is a complete chaos and that discourages her to take the car and go with the flow. Natives in her neighborhood stay at home, so she too chooses for certainty and hopefully she's save out there.

Yesterday's cycling was bad. Today I bought new plates for under my cycling shoes.. tonight I going to cycle again I think. Still have to buy a spare inner-tube and buy food.

On are some photographers who are doing well. I'm there too. Look at the side-bar.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

British flames

After two years, what are the Britons doing in the Basra area.

...on a newsgroup <>
>Briljant move of those Britsh lads. Or is it a strategic move of the central
>British command?
>This can make Law & Order in the Basra region acceptable for the common Iraqi,
>cause the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
>Briljant, briljant.
>
>regards,
><>




For the 4th week in a row the weather is excellent. The summer was not really good at all but when it ends at Sept. 23 it will have a strong finish.
My mother is on a trip in the Netherlands and has good September weather. Today I could my repaired bike and I cycled for an hour after work. Okay it was a good trip.
It's a pity I met an arrogant car driver..... or was it me who was arrogant? I spit on, let's say, the ground and that made that man furious.

After a busy day I conclude everything is business as usual. Work, grocery, cycling, television and internet.
Work isn't the worst thing but it is all the same I must find new challenges in it.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Come on Bea, fight for it!

It was a busy day. As my colleague is ill for some time now and he works part-time to make a come back possible, it is the reflection on the work we're doing or the thoughts we got that I miss. The advantage is that I can work constantly, without distract myself from work I do. (note of critic to myself).

This afternoon there was a flaw in my attention to my work. I had to concentrate on the input. And the environment stimulated me so much that I felt I was back on high school telling jokes which were really clueless, or telling serious matter which was fun after-all. But at the end of the day I've done most of the work and there will be some for tomorrow.

For other colleagues it's like they're in the doldrums. It means the end of summer, there ain't many people who ask for a provision in August, September. Maybe my colleague and I are in the doldrums at Christmas time, knowing there is a time lack between work in the front-end and the back-end of the office.

There is some news about our colleague Bea with breast-cancer. It's her birthday today.
Our boss called her at home. Bea's daughter answered the phone. It's very difficult for a child of 16 seeing your mother suffering like she does.

After her latest chemo-therapy Bea is in a very bad condition. She doesn't drink and eat anymore, has severe pains all over the body and the morphine she uses tears her down, just as I saw in the past with someone else. That's horrible.
I hope that in the meantime she will recover and get a bit better than she is now. She must eat again. But in fact if she can withstand this torture.
Thursday she will be transfered to a hospital. My hope is that she can recover at home and that the ambulance won't be necessary.

Monday, September 19, 2005

things to do

grocery
cooking making a butter cake
wash the dishes
watch the news
check some updates on bloglines
make an appoinment with the hairdresser

Sunday, September 18, 2005

To late to blog on September 17

There goes my consequently-blogging-for-a-month.
What the heck with it. That doesn't interest as much as the few kitchens I saw, the bed I wanna have, the table I also have to buy as well as new curtains, the fridge, etcetera.
My goodness I need a complete new household. They never told me when I was born. ;-)

I made some nice pics cycling in the afternoon. I don't do that very often on Sundays because I got to ride with the team.

Here I didn't know what happened to the camera and photo-ed the ground.




I also made a picture of the underwater life in a ditch with rudders or roaches. a close -up of mais, a special cow, a lakenvelder. My mug at work has it's image. There is a photo of the watertower en route the ledig-erf track. And a portray of the writer of this log.