Today September 24 2004

September 24 1981 I cannot remember.
It is 23 years ago that a car collided with me.
Around half past six in the morning I was on my bicycle on my way to school.
It happened just in the first kilometer when hell broke lose.
A car hit me in the back and I flew between trees along the road,
over a ditch and landed on a field, 15 meters from the road.
I fell down to earth and my head struck a stone.
At that moment lights turned off indefinitely.

I cannot remember a thing until the first days of November. I've been in a coma. And that period started on September 24 1981.
When I came back to the real world, I was physically a wreck. I was paralyzed at the left side of my body. My right eye was closed. My collarbone, shoulder and arm were broken and I had a braindamage.
The funny thing is that in the early weeks I recovered I didn't realize what happened.
I was washed like a baby, I was pampered until the first weeks of October, November but went to the toilet when I could go on my own.

The only important thing for me was getting back on track and be reunited with the people I loved at that moment.
I didn't was to be locked up in a hospitalbed in the midst of yelling and sick children. I wasn't ill. Something happened to me and I had to fight it, whatever it was.

But the situation was complicated. My parents were divorced. My brother and sister were awarded to the custody of my mother (and her new husband). I chose to stay with my father (and his new wife).
So when the accident happened there was a juridical fight about when one could come on visiting hours.
The month immediately after the accident I had no problems but after that when I gained some consciousness I had problems with that visiting schedule. I wanted to go home. But it was a long way.
I tried to escape the academic hospital. But outside the door it was raining, just the weather we have now. I didn't really know what to do. I stayed outside until somebody brought me back in the hospital.
(Years later when I studied in the same city I often cycled along the hospital I realized that escape was so close)

After that escape nurses also tied me in my bed and I got a room on my own. With a comb I could untie myself and with the room I was really happy. But still there was the necessity to go away from this hell.
I had to demand to watch football games and the speedscating on television. Everything was so strange to me. It was like me being a moviestar, but perhaps it's my brain which could see quite clear.

I remember a day in November when all the kids till about 12 year of age go along houses in the neighborhood with a hollow pumpkin with a light in it and sing a song to collect lots of sweets. So did my brother and sister, thanks.

But that couldn't change me wanting to go back home, to my father and his new wife. In December 1981 I went to a rehabiltationcenter. With Christmas I went home for a few days. And after that I was home every weekend.
In the rehab center I adjusted very well. Everything was easy. I went to school and practiced a lot to bring back power in my arm, feet, etcetera.
I recovered very quickly. I just made some friend when there was a boardmeeting with my parent about sending me back home.

Well, the big day of my discharge was February 19 1982. I left the rehabcenter with great joy. Everybody was happy for me. But I know that everyone in the center wasn't as lucky as I am.
Most of them where bound to wheelchair's, have major braininjuries, have progressive illnesses and will die on the short term. And they are only youngsters.
After my discharge I went on a holiday, celebrated my birthday and went back to school were I started in September.
Again I cycled to my school; 40 kilometers a day.
It's no wonder that I collapsed in October of the next year, 1983.
Then I was send to another school, close to my home, a level lower.
I did it with great ease. After that secondary school and some other education I got my Bachelordegree. Next goal could have been University but I..... yes I quit.
The accicent damaged me to much. My short term memory isn't that good. I get tired very easily and also I more than once had an epileptic attack. The last one about 3 years ago. From then on I got pills (it's no medication).