A new day

The first day of the week. Not a good one I think, however I was sharp at a meeting. It was about a complexity of things related to my work. There is going to be a change in the flow of data. The procedures need to be changed and external contacts have to be informed.
I'm just the slave to do the proces right so for me it's important that the data I need come to me in the most adequat way. I'm just kidding.

My sick colleague has been at home over the weekend and she stays well. She can eat and regains strength, just as I hoped. Now she should get rid of the urine-infection and other minor problems which occur having chemo.
Hopeful is that the strong chemo she's had didn't affect her like the ones she had before. It put a smile on our faces at work when we heard that.

Discrimination

What a day... summertime has ended last night and still we got temperatures above 20 degrees C. This is a record-warmth. Thanks to Wilma, a depression which crossed the Atlantic and gives west continental Europe a southern wind. So we got the warmth from France, Spain even Morocco.
This week I cycled about 170 k, the 88 k of today included. After cycling I had a beer which didn't taste.
It's almost 2 hours later and I feel a little headache.

The day after tomorrow it's one year ago that Theo van Gogh has been murdered.
Since then much has happened. People have been arrested for terroristic reasons and there has been a terror alarm, places have been secured and after the London assaults trains are evacuated because of a bag or case left in the compartment.
This is ridiculous if you think about it. We all know that if ordinary people or soft targets are attacked, terrorists will face real opposition of ordinary people. Maybe the first cells which will oppose the terrorists are already there.
If that's true then a civil war might be next.
Today I read something about an inquiry of the The University of Amsterdam into the role of newspapers before and after the murder. It seems that the papers wanted to create understanding for the position of strangers. With strangers I mean people born in or with parents born in another country, usually Maghreb.
For them we got a widely accepted word which cannot be translated into English. We Dutch should be ashamed of that because we discriminate in our language.

How could I've missed a day?

Yesterday, a terrific working day. One of those days with laughter.
Our colleague went home after being in hospital for some many days.
Now it hopefully goes well with her being at home.
After work I had still energy to cycle for almost 2 hours or 56 kilometer.
Well I didn't have time to write something for my blog.

Tomorrow I'll ride with team Ledig Erf So I'll probably 6 to 7 hours on my bike. Ha, Armstrong rides 6 hours a day! Well I'm not Armstrong, not a pro and I probably don't have the qualities he's got.

He has had cancer, very bad, but he survived and between all survivors there is there is one similarity, they survived.
I wonder if you reader can compare yourself with a survivor.
If you do, please write a comment on that.

this was at 7.30 pm today







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It's a beautiful day

What a wonderful day... The birds were singing and almost everyone had a good mood.... No wonder the sun was shining and a southern wind brought high temperatures to us.
This afternoon my co worker and I visited our sick colleague in the hospital. Well, she just had a chemo in her head and it was a heavier one than last times.
Proudly she told us that this one had to be imported from France. Overnight it came to Holland, to the hospital. My colleague will be monitored closely the next 24 hours and if she has no complications with this cure than she can be home tomorrow.

I asked her if she will go to the football club and she told us that she will try to arrange a place for her in the stadium. Plans enough and that if you know what the doctors said to her. It's amazing how people can cling to life and need the support of visitors.
My colleague lies in a room of ca. 16 square meters with one other female. I really feel ashamed now thinking about it.
They got hardly any privacy and if one throws up or has a bad night/day with constipation or diarrhea then it must be horrible out there. That's no place to live and to get stronger.

Strucken

It was a lovely day in fact, the sky was blue, the temperature was about 17 degrees and after work there was still a moment to feel the warmth of the sun.
Saturday it's winter-time again. On one hand I like that too, but on the other hand give me the long summer days. Cycling after work is more difficult now. The sun sets 20 minutes past 6 pm. Next week it sets 1 hour and 15 minutes earlier.
There is no time left to cycle. Only weekends and spare days are good enough to cycle.

Tonight we had a money-collecting night for the victims of the earthquake in Pakistan & India. I think the initiative is okay and donated some.
Spoken about India, I saw on Discovery a report about big cities and their way to deal with space-problems. In Mumbai experts develop the air-bus. Something Stuttgart (Germany) and possibly Berlin have too. The Mumbai experience is somewhat more advanced. This shows that India is not a developing country at all. In a way India doesn't need the initiative. Though the Indians and Pakistani need it more cause their Governments are too irresponsible (they got the war there in the disaster strucken area).

Questions and onions

Sunday my sick colleague went home but she didn't have a good day. Too much problems with her stomach and other minor problems made it a bad day. She spend most of the day on the toilet.
Our department really questions it's own role in the way our colleague could go home. She wants it, but there is no consensus among her close relatives and friends who should take care of her.
If she stays in the hospital it would be for close relatives much more easy and they would have a moment of rest. When they get home after school and work it is not a stressy situation at once.

When my mothers partner died 10 years ago the last months of his being was stressful for my brother and mother. They were the ones who were home at that time. My mother couldn't work and my brother couldn't continue university. It was on their shoulders mainly. That's hard to bear. So being hospitalized was a better solution at that time. But in that case he undoubtedly would have died in hospital and that's a depriving surrounding. My conclusion, the last days, weeks would be better at home.
For the ones who stay behind it could be better to get over the loss.

When I came home from the grocery my (lower) downstairs neighbor came in too.
we talked about living in these apartments, the state of the buildings, the bad situation of the kitchen (very old and a dangerous heating system, Coal-monoxide).
It's funny that we had the same thoughts about those things and nobody does something.
Conclusion was that this house is old and bad maintenance would make it not worth buying it. Walking home I saw a few houses on other blocks for sale and I thought about the reasons to buy elsewhere.
Well, I need an onion to digest everything said.

matters

It's time that matters.

Among the birds it's the flu which needs time to become epidemic.

In a survey among American workers Shell oil company it became clear that early pensioned workers didn't live longer than their colleagues who worked till 65 years.

My colleague is back in hospital after a day at home. For her time is essential.
Thursday another colleague and I are going to visit her too.

The photography of yesterday is on fotothing

Photo update

Let's make give an impression how my day was.

8.30 am awake
9.15 getting something to eat
10.00 read the news(among the papernews also other sources)
10.30 get myself a cup of coffee
11.00 read some email
12.00 going to cycle
14.30 back home
15.00 listen to sports on the radio
16.00 walk to a park for some pictures of mushroom
17.00 get my bicycle to make other pictures
19.15 upload my pictures and write this post

at 22.30 (gmt+2) some will be uploaded to fotothing

In the wild

It's getting colder. When you get up and go to the bathroom and kitchen it's shivering cold. It's time for a bath-robe, I bought one.

This weekend will be a wet one. Though I think I'm gonna cycle. First I got to go to the cycle shop to buy the 3 quarter legging. Got to ride 100 k I think.
I think if I catch one or more of those freezing showers I'll catch a cold by Monday.
Maybe 100 k is not reasonable. Half of the distance will do it too. So Sunday I won't be able to ride up with the Ledig Erf riders.

I have to make a few choices, one for the political party of which I'm member.
Out of 4 candidates members can choose the chairman. I thought that I knew it.
Michiel van Hulten would be my choice, because I read a book of him about transparency. The content was good, he has been member of the EU parliament, with 36 years he's relatively young and has ideas.

Then I saw a publicity photograph of him wearing such a statement white bangle.
I looked up the meaning of this statement.
For the American teenagers it is used to express that they do not believe in sex before marriage. Hey hey hey, pretty Victorian.
In Great Britain, continental Europe and the rest of the world it's carved with make poverty history. Nelson Mandela, Desmond Tutu, Claudia Schiffer most artists of Band Aid have worn the white bracelet.
I don't believe in those bangles (didn't Armstrong wear a yellow one, against cancer).

Okay, I'm going to the shops. See you.
Btw, last week was nice weather to make fall-pictures. But I didn't make them. Just a missed chance.

Bea's homecoming

The latest news about Bea is that Sunday she 's going home for a day. It's a try out. After that her house has to be adjusted (if she really goes). Going home is the best for her.
She wants it, it's her will. Her friend though is very frightened. He can't cope with the responsibility he didn't ask for, the stress if something goes wrong.
An insult or something like that. You call an ambulance. That is all you can do.
Normally people get stronger in such situations. But he doesn't even think about trying. It's like avoiding the risk you got in a relationship. If the other isn't doing well, bear the responsibility to take care even if it costs a salary.

Well, I worked alone this week on the financial branch. My co-worker has rented a house this mid-week. Commentary all over, why is he on a vacation while he's still sick? Well I have to say I can feel it now in my bones that it was a hard week.
This year there shouldn't be many more of these weeks.

This week I worked 2 hours more than scheduled. So if I work more over time I can have a day off too. I still got a week vacation left but I want to use it next year for a 4 weeks holiday in summer.

Bizarre

My colleague had a conversation with the hospital. She was told that without the surgery the hospital fore-casted just 2 more months to live. Now Bea could live up to 6 months. Problem is that she has to make a choice whether she should be taken care of in a hospice (when people are going to die and need much care they can be hospitalized in such a hospice), or in a nursing home. Home might be out of reach as the situation is like today, or what I described yesterday.

This news came to me as a sort of breaking news. Our chief called us to tell it in one time to us all. It struck me, but other colleagues too I think. One was suddenly ill. Okay, the flu is going around these days.

It's strange, 2 months ago Bea walked around at the office. She worked between her chemo therapies. Then after 2 weeks vacation in Greece she came back with a very hard -turtle-skin. She was hospitalized had new chemo therapy and then it went downhill quickly. And now they think about a hospice. This is awfully bizarre.

fight

Yesterday's thought about my colleague seems to be much too prosperous.
She hardly moves, eats not much and loses weight. It is her mind still going strong, but her body seems to tear away.
The cancer in her body isn't being treated, so that can grow. The concentration is on the cancer cells in her head.
This might extend her life, but the quality is poor. I'm sad to say that from my point of view. But she is a fighter who will fight and fight and fight till the last round.

Today is the first day of autumn really, the temperatures are much lower and there has been rain at daylight!
It was fair weather when I came home, so I decided to go for a quick 1 hour ride just before dark.
That was refreshing and at 8.40 pm PSV Eindhoven (Holland) played Milan AC (Italy). It's a football game if you might not know. They made it on paper a boring 0-0 but I saw the match and it was not bad at all.

colleague

Our sick colleague is still in the hospital, the military hospital. The part were she stayed will be renovated, so she has to move. Bea still wants to go home, but I can't hardly believe that's possible because many things have to be changed for the better, especially her health. She isn't capable to walk more than 10 metres and she lost power in her left hand. She needs care and in her house is no 24 hours care each day. Okay that can be arranged and certain adaptations too. But it is important for Bea to regain strength.

between sunrise and full moon

Did my work today when a colleague told me that we had a kind of meeting about the structure of our computer system. Because I'm the person who works with the present system of our supply of wheelchairs I should be there too. Well, the whole discussion was focused mainly on what should be improved in the working of the system. Not that I didn't have any comments on that, but I was there to say something about our wheelchairs, motorised or not.
It was none of that. It was a show of my colleague and she's about policy in my department.
So I thought about a newspaper's column about simulating submissiveness and social binding.

People give up their autonomy to enter a constitution. In that constitution one can enter into relations with other persons by simulating submissiveness. So people make mistakes deliberately to form a community.
The columnist gave examples of mistakes , of failure, policy makers who make mistakes on purpose with budgetary systems and privatisation to create a atmosphere of binding, politicians fail to bridge the gap between Government and citizens, administrative personnel make mistakes to create a cozy corner around the coffee machine (yes, Sarah Ackerman I said machine too).

Okay, if this social binding exists whats the matter with that, is it bad?
I don't think it's bad. It creates involvement with work and a bond with colleagues.
However, on an individual scale it's bad because few people work at their capability. In this constellation there are people with work which doesn't get the best out of them. That's a pity for the employer, but also a lost opportunity for society.

.......Yes it's full moon.......

Yup

Yup, weekend is over, again the sun has set beautifully. I'm preparing myself for the next week. Do my laundry, cleaning the house (for the first time I cleaned behind the fridge).
I saw some sports on the tele. Marathon runner Haile Gebrsalassie was close to break the world-record. The last 7 kilometers he lost on the record scheme and finished in a personal best and course record. He certainly is one of the possible winner of Olympic gold on the Beijing marathon of 2008.

My football club lost of the new championship leader Feyenoord Rotterdam with 4-1. I heard it on the radio cleaning my kitchen, that hurts, especially when you know half time my club leaded in the match.

Saturday afternoon I saw a little of the last cycling tour of this year. It was Paolo Bettini who won in Italy. I think he became second overall.
After that I cycled in my only Italian shirt of Alessio.
This was the last weekend of the year with temperatures above the 18 degrees C.
My 85 year old neighbor said that it's time temps lower a bit. Understandable when you're at home the whole day with the sun shining on the windows constantly.
Now it seems that the whole world has high temps, my neighbor shouldn't complain.

Saturday

Saturday is the best day of the weekend I think. You'll have a fresh start if Friday night wasn't too fucked up and you end with a night which ends in a morning were nothing has to be done. Okay, that means for a single. For a couple it can be slightly different and when children are involved it is completely different.

So I just had the best day of the weekend.
And what do we do in Holland with that best day? Exactly, we spend it on work we have to do cause on Sundays we can't normally do that. It means shopping and fun shopping, going to town and pick a beer on a terrace covered with sunlight.

I went to town too to find a 3 quarter legging for cycling and probably found one.
On way to the city I passed some police officers and a resque team of the fire squad.
On way to and in the city I made some pictures like below.

At work

What a day we had. This was a real Friday. Considering the circumstances it was indeed. The greater part of the department was away (had a day off or was ill) and the people who were at the office went along with each other and made it an atmosphere in which it is nice to work.
We have the singing colleague, the poeting one, the colleague with the dry humor, the one with all the jokes and the others who are mixed up doing well together.

The hospitalized colleague is doing okay right now. She is hoping to go home.
then ze needs a stair-elevator, another toilet, a shower and so on. She is a little disabled right now and she doesn't want to depend on others for example when she has to go to the toilet. Almost nobody likes it to be a needy person.
Maybe the office can do something for her because we have the contacts with constructors for building adaptations.
So a colleague called a constructor and pointed out the situation and asked him to come with a challenging proposition.

By the way, has anybody seen Das Boot. A German made movie about a U-boat and it's crew in World war II. The characters were strong the shooting was great and the story was okay.


Fotolog is improving itself. Look how Grimp portraits his locals

A few photo's

As the bird flu type H5N1 has reached Turkey. Measures are taken to prevent spreading the flu. Keep the birds inside, travelers must prevent contact with wild bird life. LOL, if it spreads from rural areas too more populated Europe then it's a disaster. So from my point of view this risk analysis is weak. To say it mildly.

Positive frustration

yesterday's sunset

Sometimes there are weeks of continuous fair weather. Everything is like the forecast. It's the weather you can depend on. It's un-Dutch. It's not common here that September and October just let summer fade away into a winter.

But how nice this is after not so marvelous summer. The hottest period of the Dutch summer was in my vacation. France had 36 degrees, Holland had 32. Temperatures though remained average the whole summer as wel as rainfall. That made it possible for me to keep on cycling without pauses of weeks.

Thinking about a short pause, today I trained a while (1 hour) on a low gear when I passed a biker at the end of the training. I cycled at an average of 37 k/hr. When I went down hill that person on a normal bike passed me saying "hey, it's good weather, isn't it?". So I followed him for a short while and then passed him again (replying "yes, but don't go to fast") with an average of 43 k/hr which I kept on cycling. When I looked over my shoulder after a while that man still cycled behind me. (okay, I said, congratulations). And he cycled away, and still cycles I think.

A colleague of mine told me that this morning he passed a biker on a racing bike and when he looked behind his back after a while the racer couldn't keep up. My colleague told me that that man must felt frustrated being passed by someone on a bike which is not a racing bike at all.
Well that's almost the same frustration I felt after being passed for the second time. The question is how to use this frustration positively.

Tired pumpkin

I felt tired all day long. When I went to bed I read a little and I felt my bed was not comfortable. I didn't change the linen for a long time. When I awoke I showered and put on fresh clothes. But I felt sleepy all the time also at work.
When my colleague arrived, he came with a head like a pumpkin. He had an headache from here to Tokio. (imagine the distance and you know it) But he's tired since start of summer and works part-time since 2 or 3 months.
Maybe that affects me too because I got much more work to do.
Maybe it's the season. The flu is coming and the airconditioners spread the virus through the building.

The bird influenca has been spotted in Rumania an Turkey. It's very close to the heart of Europe and if that causes a pandemia I hope that Ab Österhaus has found a cure. Else I won't be able to work in the sick building.

Schoolyard mentality

Everyone knows how it goes at school when you got to form a team. Everyone wants to be in or have the best team to win the game or get the best position.
And if you are good then you will be chosen, while a year ago people didn't see you standing (some people did, that's true).
It is so unfair that people are rejected because other people think they don't have qualities needed.

But it's psychology, the game theory, Economy, it all the same. You can win the nobelprize for describing it.

Bea is doing well, concerned her situation. She hopes that she will be able to go home on short notice and come back to the hospital for the chemo in her head.
She is a little concerned about the next place where she will be placed. Her new room will be the Military hospital and she don't know whether is is a single room or a room with more people in it.
Tomorrow the start with a lighter version of the previous chemo. The frequency will be higher though. It is not okay that the cancer in other parts of her body won't be treated for now. It's just growing is my opinion.
The whole situation is very stressy for everybody involved.

gap

Okay, a fantastic weekend full of cycling. Today in the time-trial I became 11th out of at least 35 cyclists.
This weekend almost didn't have time to think about problems in the world (earthquake), about my colleague (cancer, we hear about it tomorrow), about Ocean and her little boy (good luck son), joy about reaching the World-cup Football in Germany.
Weekend is a giant gap between 2 weeks

And Hnk stay cool, cause you got to travel a lot to understand the world.
Hey hey hey, it's time to go to bed.

time

The individual time trial cycling was okay.
What a deception was the team time trial. In groups of 4 there was no line in what so ever. 1 could not follow at all. 1 Rider went too fast. And in the meantime we went as 2 groups over the track. Only in the third round of 2.4 k we united.
Tomorrow there is a 10 k on the program. I don't know what I did on that time-trial.

The weekend goes to fast now. I can hardly do the things I have to do. (my dishes are piled up, my bedroom hasn't being clean in weeks and so on)

Weekend,

this weekend will be one of cycling. It will start Saturday at noon, Sunday again at the same time. Yesterday I trained a short while on the track and it was okay; 17.7 k in 29 minutes + some extra kilometers which made a total of almost 40 k. Today I rode 51 k after work. It was almost dark when I got home at 18:45 pm
I didn't ride what I planned to ride, I think it was too far too.

Life goes on when a colleague is struggling to live. Her colleagues are having fun, maybe they think every now and then at her faith but nevertheless on a 10 minutes car ride there is a colleague suffering. Years passing by, saying goodmorning Bea and now you can't help her. It is and feels unheimisch, don't cha think?

Rays of light

Our chief of the department said we were doing okay dealing with the whole status of our colleague. It's almost the same as I told her the day before when 2 of my colleagues and I visited Bea.
In fact three of us at the same time is too much. Maybe that is what she said.
Okay today I did my work again and I realize that tomorrow is the last day of the week. It goes so quick. Do you know when we have really fun work? Then time flies in fact. The past years went like beam of light. What happened I fact in the last three years?: We saw Bea's diagnose with cancer, the bad situation with my family, my brother who will earn his master degree in International Business, my mother who successfully claimed her money from my father. And of course the bulls & the bears of the stock-market which are alive for me again.
There is always a ray of light in the universe on which people can cling to, I know by experience.

Bea's situation

I've been to the hospital where Bea is.
She's there for the second week now and has seen many faces.
Not only her colleagues but also friends, ex-colleagues, etcetera.
She looks not ill at all.
She only is bald and Bea has a platster on her head where the pump is for the liquid
to get the fluid out of her head.
Bea sleeps well at night, though she's to lay on her back.
Her eyes are more vivid that some previous visitors told and she doesn't jump from one subjet to another. She never did that.

But her situation gets worse day by day, even if it looks like she's getting better.
You can say I'm pessimistic, I am. I should be more optimistic, I wish I could.
Hopefully she can return home on short notice. That means her situation is more or less under control.

patience

Everybody is waiting for something.
Many people wait and see for the new health-care system which will be active on January 1 2006. My department waits for the new legislation which repositions the health care. That will be in June 2006, it might be postponed till the end of 2006.
The health insurance will be more commercialised. Nowadays people with an income below a fixed income are insured publicly, the others must have a private health insurance.
This change and the new legislation will give too much tension for a sound implementation.

For my colleague in the hospital this is no problem. For her only counts if she will make it till next year. Today's visitors told that she became more realistic (also noticed yesterday).
Tomorrow I'll visit her. Maybe I can say some more.

Solar eclips

Anybody seen the solar eclipse of October 3?
My colleagues and I only saw a partial one. Around 10 someone reminded us of the eclipse.
The funny thing is that I was looking for my special designed eclipse sunglasses which I didn't find before I went to work, I almost forgot the moment supreme.
Without those glasses it was hard to get a glimpse. The next eclipse in Holland is in 2118 or so. If you missed it you got to wait a long time.
The first eclipse I saw I still remember. I wasn't older than 8 years when we had our first astronomy lesson, a practicum. With a couple of photo negatives we could see the sun bit by the moon.
Afterwards you could say that the teacher was irresponsible having at least 20 kids viewing the sun through negatives at the same time.

My colleague has had the operation I told about. It was Oct. 1 when she had a drain.
She is realistic now and takes precautions if it's getting worse.
She has done this operation to fight the cancer, to be with her family and to reach the age of 50.

Home

Home is the best place where one can be.
The best thing one can do if settling somewhere is getting used to the customs, feel welcome and feel at home.
For yesterday's telephoning guy he might feel at home in the cabin of the train. He had a loud conversation about labour rights. It was a one way oration of what the other side of the telephone line could do.
There where several persons in the train who didn't feel free. They all had to hear that conversation. I had my discman on and heard the vibrations of someone talking on a close range. I didn't hear exactly everything but when I put down the earphone it was clear to me. If you sing in public your song people could easily point at their forehead (lunatic or guts if you can sing). When you talk on the phone it's supposed to be normal..... (according to that guy it was apparently)
Where is our right to have a private space around us without too noisy phone calls.

ON MY WAY BACK HOME

ON MY WAY HOME WITH A CAPUCHINNO, I'LL MAKE SOME PHOTO'S. THE RIDE BACK IS OKAY, HOWEVER I FEEL A BIT OUT OF REALITY. WENT LATE TO BED LAST NIGHT PLAYING THE GAME. NOW I'M IN THE TRAIN BACK HOME, HEARING A CONVERSATION I DON'T WANNA HEAR. A GUY SPEAKS MUCH TOO LOUD IN HIS CELL PHONE. I SAID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
JAN

Desolated landscape, culture became nature again.

Saturday, just before noon, empty roads in the north.

Windmill and cashcow of a farmer near Staphorst. Staphorst is an orthodox christian community near Zwolle.

The Dutch standard Intercity trains

Crossing the IJssel after Zwolle